management roller coaster many times i have mentioned this: i hate management.

but i don't really get it, my grades is like a freakin' roller coaster. we just had our fifth exam this morning, and it's a quantitative kind of a test (inventory control and design capacity), so i was honestly confident about it. i got my grades just this after, and i got 110 out of 110 points.

but here's a break down of the four other exams:
exam..............................my score.........................class average
1st exam........................62 / 80..................................70
2nd exam.......................83 / 90..................................78
3rd exam........................69 / 90.................................78
4th exam........................78 / 110................................92

so far, i have a high A, a low A, a high C and two low Cs. good thing i write pretty good papers, 40 out of 40 points, and a good research, 100 out of 100. my weighted average right now is 87% (class average of 85%) which is a B.

management gives me a headache....
  ¶ 8:11 PM 0 Comments

  i surrender has anyone here every felt that everything seems to be okay, that somehow you are pretty darn sure of what's happening but when you make that one seemingly unimportant decision, it blows up your face?

no, that's no rhetorical question, i'm actually asking. e-mail me or post a comment or something, i wanna know.

i think i just gave up on love. i sense eyes rolling. careful, i'll take them out with a dull knife.

the romantic in me just died. when i say romantic, i don't mean roses on valentine's day, or cooking breakfast for your significant other. i mean a person who believes that the greatest human experiences are not summed up in great achievements and recognition but by emotions and intense feelings that defy logic. i used to be a romantic. i doubt it now.

i have drowned myself with all the make-me-feel-good songs - from jLo's feeling so good to sara evan's perfect but nothing works. i buried myself in pages and pages of hawthorne's the scarlet letter and wasted hours playing pokemon with my gameboy, still, i feel sad.

no, i'm pass sad. i'm fuckin' pissed off.

i thought love can go beyond borders, go over seas and oceans, fly across the blue sky, but love goddam stinks in the end. maybe ally was right, we settle for the one near to us rather than look for the someone in our dreams. settling is not bad, ain't it? why look for someone who is not real?

give me a week, i'll probably retract everything i said here. but right now, i need to blow off some steam.
  ¶ 5:52 PM 0 Comments

  a.w.o.l. i won't be here for a while, it's spring break and i'm gonna spend the week with my brothers and my sis in my dad's place. i might also go up the ranch, i heard cousins dan and meg are there with their kansas friends.

but of course, i won't leave without telling a story :-)

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creepy as it may sound, but i'm beginning to like country music. when i say country music, i mean COUNTRY music. not jewel-, dixie chicks- or sheryl crow-country, but brad paisley-, keith urban-, sara evans-country!

here's a preview of the country music that doesn't make it to asia, see left panels for you'll think of me by urban.

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the last week of classes before the break was kinda great. everything was fine, i even enjoyed my management classes. my very last class, managerial accounting, i ended up staying a bit later. i waited til the teacher dismissed the class, and that's when i asked her a question about budgets. anyway, we had a pretty long discussion about it and left her in the classroom feeling contented with her answers. she certainly knows her accounting!

well, i was e-mailing with bibba through my phone that time and told her about it. at aba, she asked me if i was arguing with my teacher! i was like... like... see, i'm out of words! kiko? out of words? HA! anyway, sent a text message to everyone here (everyone = rey and ate in), asking them if kiko is synonymous to argument. rey gave me a sensible reply: kiko, you are not synonymous to argument. kiko defines argument.

i rest my case.

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was able to call up my mom last saturday night during work. i called some time earlier that week but she asked me to call her again on a sunday in calingatan so i could talk to my inay. so i did and to my surprise, everyone was there!

my cousin ralph picked up. my mom told me he's graduating from grade school already. and then i talked to inay first since i'm here paboritong apo, HAHAHA! that's how my cousins call me after i was spending so much time with her before going here to the US, and that's after the mc donald's ad. then, my favorite cousin, ate juliet, picked up and was asking if i could swing by canada this coming december since she'll be there for a vacation (she's living in london). even my cousin ate ella was there, she went home for her daughter's graduation from high school. then, mom told me about my cousin michael's wedding. i was a bit surprised and blown away since he's only twenty. but hey, that's his life.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

monday early morning was a bit bad though. as much as i want to talk about it, i just won't. funny how bibba was able to sense it right away, considering she has no idea what it is about. ate in wants to ask about it, but she knows better than asking me about something i don't want to talk about. same goes with leo.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

it has been a topsy-turvy weekend, a roller coaster of feeling elated and shitty. but at least i'm going to see my bros and my sis later tonight, hopefully that would cheer me up.

sigh... never felt so fucked up.
  ¶ 1:24 PM 0 Comments

  last night, i was in a threesome i don't think i have shown any appreciation to most of my friends. i mean, i don't think they are aware of how much they mean to me, just mainly i don't tell them. i just hope that when words fail me, and taken aside my cold-hearted facade, they would feel and know how much they are wanted.

drama mode [on]

yesterday, i sent rey a text message asking him if i could call that night, just because. i don't know if rey has any idea how i worry about him so much, and i always tell ate i.n that. me and ate talk every night, so i'm pretty aware of what's going on with her. unlike rey, we text everyday but that's about it. even if he's doing ok, i do not know that. i worry because something might be worrying him. maybe it's the chismoso in me, or the intrimitida in me, but i can only be calm if i know everybody i care about is safe.

so that night, i called up ate, i told her to call up rey and we had our threesome. we slept with all three phones connected.
  ¶ 10:08 AM 0 Comments

  anghel was browsing my friends' blogs and saw nime's entry. it is sooooo cool! a little factoid: i prefer short but strong poems. here's on by nime:


kapag ang pluma ng anghel
sa puso'y gumuhit,
maitatago pa ba
mga lihim ng langit?

  ¶ 9:23 AM 0 Comments

  memories hbo was showing dare devil last month. a particular scene made me remember my lavoxa days.

deejay is one funny guy. he is an ex-marine so anything he touches could be a weapon. he even showed me how a five-peso bill can be a weapon! we were making jokes one day (as any other day in lavoxa) that he would be in a mission, and his superior would give him a paper clip while riding a plane or a chopper or whatever, and his superior would tell him, "survive" and pushes him off the plane. from there rooted sooo many jokes, and one of them is people being scared of him because he has a paper clip. people screaming "get out of the way, deej is here WITH A PAPER CLIP, AHHHH!".

then come dare devil. there is this scene where bullseye, played by colin farrel (or is farell?), uses a paper clip to kill this fat guy.

what a rip-off! deej, you should be compensated.
  ¶ 9:54 AM 0 Comments

  survey was checking out my friendster account and saw rey's latest bulletin. he claims he got bored. well, i'm making the same claim.

INSTRUCTIONS: write the first thing that comes into your mind when you read these words:

coffee = i need more.
yellow = pikachu
pillow = drool stains
britney = in her see through daimond encrusted suit dancing on all fours.
jLo = green versace dress
pink = believe it or not, pikachu
Josh Hartnett = that girl who was also in A Knight's Tale
Tom Welling = Somebody save me...
popcorn = yuck.
summer = lemery
winter = snow
spring = spring break!
autumn = pumpkins
lamer = lamer? what's lamer?
Raymond = debra
Utt = ten (read that again)
party = rave
S.H.E = stockholders' equity
memories = cats. not cats cats, but the play cats. isabelle i think was the name of that cat who sang memories
sushi = sashimi
neo-prints = neo-pets
Sorry = is all that you can't say...
enemy = i am everyone's nyahahahahaha!
dog = hate them
country = pinas
love = love, love, ULUL!
gf's ex = not quite enough compared to me, nyahahaha!
liars = beware
Sean Paul = jamaican ladies shakin' their asses
WWE = fake
jealousy = wasted emotions
bed = got room for one more -> rey's answer, i concur!
clubbing = peppers in pueblo, rumbays in springs
Angel = me. don't you laugh. i mean it. hell, i said stop it!
thanksgiving = poor indians, they didn't know what's going to happen next
aloha = white beaches
marina = rayearth
sex = what's that?!
criticism = KIKO! -> rey's answer. i am deeply touched... down there.
jokes = RYAN ANGELA DIMAYUGA - rey's answer (again). i reckon.
traitor = that girl in the apprentice
sports = sweat
cuba = cigars
marriage = see "sex"
fire = shield
ice = tokiya mikigami
ballpen = parker
college = csu-pueblo
post-its = not quite enough
  ¶ 7:33 PM 0 Comments

  the passion i hate management. my management grad buds, sorry, but i just hate the damn course.

tuesdays, i only have two classes: financial accounting and strategy and policy management. today, i had an exam on both.

accounting was okay. i only spent thirty minutes finishing a hundred-item test. no, i'm not bragging. i've said this so many times: my brain only works for thirty minutes, anything beyond that is just plain blah. anyway, the exam wasn't really hard, just worked on the difference between the periodic and perpetual system. nothing big.

then, my management class. here's my argument: nothing is definite in management. everything is in contingent. everything is in a case to case basis. nothing is quantifiable. i don't like that. i would rather do hours and hours of labor doing paperworks from journalizing the entry all the way to financial statements preparation than study a case.

anyway, the exam has only seven questions - all essay questions! no kiddin', my pen ran out of ink. i had seven pages with just one question on each page. and it's not like i can be just direct to the point, i have to goddam elaborate. by the time i finished the exam, my fingers were numb. so was my ass.

i hate management. i hate it with a passion.
  ¶ 7:19 PM 0 Comments

  revelation was checking my friend markie's blog, and was pretty alarmed. it was the most stupid thing i've ever seen. sorry, markiepot, pero it's just wrong to say something like that. anyway, kiko showed some concern (very rare) and later got an e-mail from him.

after reading the e-mail and replying and all, i realized that people sometimes tend to ask for my advice. not really ask, maybe hint that they want my advice.

i am never good in giving advices. there should be a law against asking for my advice.

i never give sound advices! if everyone asks for an advice, we are all screwed. but what i lack in giving advices, i make up for giving honest opinions. maybe my friends are just looking for a different perspective or maybe even a slap on the face (not literally), to hear from somebody else what's inside their heads.

just a piece of advice (hahahaha): if i tell you what you should do, take it as my opinion, not an advice.
  ¶ 11:24 AM 0 Comments

  torpe hungry young poets

huwag na lang kaya
hari ng katorpehan
huwag, h'wag na lang kaya
di ka ba nagsasawa sa liwanag ng buwan
namamatay ang mga rosas sa tabi
di ka pa bumibili
nauubos na ang oras sa kahihintay
pero ni sulat ni tawag wala
bakit mo pa kailangan ng tulay
kahit ulap nagsasabi tayo bagay
bakit o pa kailangang magtanong
kung alam mo na, alam mo na
bilisan mo na ngayon
kasi tumatakbo ang tren
bilisan mo na ngayon
iiwanan ka, iiwanan ka
ayoko ng torpe pero gusto kita
  ¶ 1:52 PM 0 Comments

  art history every time that i have my art history class, i almost always send rey a text message. in this class, full of art major students, we always see paintings and sculptures of naked women, and everybody is so... so... so asexual about it! no malice at all. trying to keep my standards of immorality, i need to talk to somebody who is almost as (im)morally skewed as i am. hence, rey comes into the picture.

today was different though, the paintings we looked at were meant to have sexual suggestiveness. you can ask rey, i didn't text him today in class.

we were discussing rococo art in the 18th century when louis xiv died (finally!) and ended his long reign. rococo art is very baroque if you think about it, only more delicate and ornate. it's like comparing kris aquino and john lapus - both are loud-mouthed, but john is more colorful and he exaggerates more.

one of the paintings we talked about was of jean-antoine wattaue, pilgrimage to the island of cythera. in the painting, the aristocrats of france are having this "picnic" in the island of venus (aphrodite). i think they are delusional. it's their metaphoric "escape" from france, since france is in shambles during the 18th century pre-french revolution. nothing too suggestive in here, except maybe to the one guy leaning over to this girl saying something like, "hey, let's meet later when your husband is busy with his affairs."

my favorite when it comes to subtle naughtiness has to be fragonard! he is sooooo funny. he has this painting called the swing, but others call it the happy accidents in the swing and for a reason! if you look closely at the girl in the picture, she is throwing off her shoe, letting this guy take a peek of what's under her dress! hahaha! what an invitation! it's like she's saying, "hey there! stick around, my shoes are not the only ones coming off!"

then came jean-baptiste grueze. he, on the other hand, made paintings for the middle class people. the irony here is he used rococo in his style of painting which is mainly for the rich guys, and yet he did the painting for the masses. the broken jug has a very emotional intensity i could not explain. this twelve-thirteen year-old girl with a broken pitcher, clutching flowers in her dress has so much meaning. see, flowers usually mean love (duh!) and the symbolism of a broken jug is losing one's virginity. and the look on her face! like someone got into her pants - or in this case, dress - with a promise of love but after that, he left her. now ain't that sad?
  ¶ 5:11 PM 0 Comments

  bus ride every bus ride i take is different. today is the same.

my accounting class was full of distractions. first, my teacher decided to wear a pin-striped black suit over light blue shirt and a red tie, and gray pants with immaculately white sneakers. i'm not sure what the color of his socks are, but i'm hoping they are not black. after class, went home to look for my old colorado state id to renew it. on my way to the dmv, it was pretty ok. but on the way back, it was pretty weird.

it was like god let loose all the freaks and made sure all of them track me down. maybe they're looking for a leader. anyway, this old chinese looking guy sat next to me. more than twenty vacant seats, and he chose the one next to me. then a lady came in with fish in her bag. reminds me how lipa's palengke smells like. and i swear to god, the other guy in the bus was either hammered or loaded.

i'm not taking the bus anymore. unless i have to.
  ¶ 3:45 PM 0 Comments

  paper heart all american rejects

please just don't play with me
my paper heart will bleed
this wait for destiny won't do
be with me please i beseech you
simple things, that make you run a-way
catch you if i can

tears fall, down your face
the taste, is something new
something that i know
moving on is, easiest when i am around you.

so bottle up old love,
and throw it out to sea,
watch it away as you cry
now a year has past
the seasons go

please just don't play with me
my paper heart will bleed
this wait for destiny won't do
be with me please i beseach you
simple things, that make you run a-way
catch you if i can

waiting, day to day it goes through
my lips, are sealed for her
my tongue is,
tied to, a dream of being with you
to settle for less, is not what i prefer

summer time, the nights are so long
the leaves fall down, and so do i into
the arms of a friend
winter nights
my bedside is cold, for i am gone
and spring blossoms you to me
  ¶ 1:53 PM 0 Comments

  things are looking up starting my birthday, everything seems to be looking up.

first, after six months of working in the motel, i actually thought of looking for another job since i don't think anyone notices my hard work. then eva, my manager, came down the office and stayed with me til midnight just to tell me how good i am doing - even better than the night auditor who's been working there for more than two years!

then, looking at my sorry checkbook, i was struggling about paying bills and having a little extra cash for my brother's birthday. when i opened the mailbox, i received a letter from the hispanic scholarship fund - with a check in it!

lastly, the big news, my dad just received his papers about his disability rating from the veterans affairs. because of that rating, he won't have to work no more to earn some dough. not that he's lazy, he's anything but that, but after twenty five years of service to the navy, it is already taking its toll on his health. he totally deserves that hundred percent rating.
  ¶ 9:29 AM 0 Comments

  i'm in love! my ate i.n knows me too well.

this morning in my financial class, i sent a text message to ate telling her i'm in love and she replied with something like sa ano? (with what?) rather than kanino? (with whom?).

after my class yesterday, i went home and ordered pizza then went to sleep four slices later. i woke up around nine, and decided to finish my accounting homework so i went down stairs. well, jess is back in the apartment at last, she greeted me pretty warmly with "hey, happy fuckin' birthday!" - now ain't that sweet? - anyway, she found her maroon 5 cd! we've turned her room upside already looking for it, and it turned out that it's in her mom's place.

she made me listen to track number four - and totally fell in love with the song! it's called she will be loved and i insist you listen to it! it's great!

i have the lyrics somewhere here, at the left panels.
  ¶ 2:45 PM 0 Comments

  stopping by woods on a snowy evening robert frost

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.
  ¶ 2:53 PM 0 Comments

  yo, shorty, it's your birthday i'm getting old. i didn't realize that because my friend rey keeps rubbing it to my face, but after my conversation with my friend ejie from california. as we were talking last saturday, he mentioned about responsibilities.

i know i'm getting old when my peers use the word responsibility as an everyday word.

it's not really as bad as i thought it would be - getting old, i mean. it's just that every birthday forces me to be more mature every year. it's my yearly reminder that i shouldn't watch cartoons this much, or spend so much time at the comics section of a bookstore... who am i kidding?
  ¶ 12:49 PM 0 Comments

  what i do for some dough my friend bibba asked me what i do in the motel this morning. she wasn't really sure what a night auditor does, mainly because i told her i just dance and sing in the back office late at night.

well, i usually get there about fifteen minutes before my shift at 10pm. i always do that so that if the one doing the swing shift, 2pm-10pm, has already done the reports and somebody comes in to check in, i could do that for him/her so s/he doesn't have to redo all his/her work.

i start off with printing all the reports starting my shift, like the guest list, the stay-overs, any adjustments through out the day, the day end summary reports, the registration numbers used all through out the day. stuff like that. then, i check the safe log, like how much money came out of the safe, who took them out, who dropped money in and how much. then i compare that with the computer logs and the manual logs. yeah, i know, it's pretty strict around here with the logs, that's the only way the night auditor can check the money in the safe since i can't and am not allowed to open the safe.

then i check the credit card transactions. i reconcile the slips that we have with the summary of the computers.

after all that (usually i finish around midnight), i just wait for people who might want to check in. by this time, the front door in the lobby is locked already, and all check ins are done in the window. by the way, i'm all alone in the motel! the creepy part is that i have to go through the laundry room to go to the bathroom. it's pretty scary there.

here's the boring part. after all those reports, there's nothing to do! i just sit there, read, watch tv or listen to the radio. that's why i told bibba that i just sing and dance there! just to keep me awake. also, i consume about five cups of coffee.

around four in the morning, i start another long lists of reports. i practically close my shift before five even if i'm still around til 6am. after closing my shift, i close all accounts for the day. that's the fun part of staring at numbers! i have like fifty pages of numbers to look at and check, and that's a slow night! during summer when the motel is at its peak, i could looking at 200 or more pages of reports!
  ¶ 9:29 PM 0 Comments

  apartment 201 i haven't really sat down and give more time in this blogging thing. at night, after a long day of debits and credits, of break even points and cost curves, of caravaggio's paintings and african sculptures, many thoughts bug my head by i'm just too tired to haul my ass and type something.

let me start by telling you guys about my roommates.

it's been like three weeks since i have seen my roomie jess. she usually goes back to colorado springs thursday nights since she dropped her friday morning class. but if she does stay on thursdays, we usually end up in denny's - an all-day breakfast place. she'll always have moons over my hammy, with a side of fries. then she'll ask for a small saucer for her ketchup. me, every night is a different skillet meal for me :-) we would leave the apartment around nine in the evening, after all our shows (survivor, tru calling, csi, the apprentice... we have four vcrs at home, we usually tape the shows since they are on all at the same time!) but we won't go straight to denny's since our favorite waiter won't be there til ten. we would just drive around the area, maybe go to walmart's to buy some milk, stuff like that. then by ten, we would wait for our waiter. we would just talk and talk and talk til around two in the morning. that's when we head home. but when we reach the apartment, we would just end up talking more or playing x-box in her room or make fun of the online chatters.

sigh... i miss my roomie. she hasn't been home for a while since her mom had a knee surgery and she has to stay home with her. hopefully she would be back on monday.

kim, my other roomie, and i has been spending time, too. she used to be reserved and would always stay inside of her room. then we found a common ground - american idol! every tuesday and wednesday night are our nights! no one dares to touch the remote, else, it could get ugly. and since both of us don't really cook, and jess is not around (the official cook), we ended up ordering pizza for each other for one whole week. we had at least six pizza boxes at home by friday - papa john's, blackjacks, little ceasar and domino's. i wonder why we never tried pizza hut? hmmm...

dan, the other roomie, is... dan. he's different. he doesn't like hanging out with. he prefers to hang out with her girlfriend. too much. he's always in the dorms, or maybe in our next door neighbors but never in the house. he would be out like til two in the morning. i dunno, he's different. but he did bring his home gym equipment with him. so jess and i ended up lifting weights. just for one night.
  ¶ 2:41 PM 0 Comments

  yesterday, god knocked at my door to those who know me pretty well, they would be shocked with this story:

somebody was able to offend me by making a religious remark.

the shocking parts here are first: i was offended. nothing offends me. i attack when somebody attacks me, my friends or my family. i attack not because they offended me / my friends / my family, but just the mere fact i (we) was (were) attacked. but to take offense? i can clearly draw a line there, some may not be able to do the same, i guess.

second: it was a religious remark. many knows that i'm a christian who has more than fifteen years of catholic education and all, but that fact makes me so aware that i'm not going to heaven, granting there is a heaven. that my soul, if i have one, may possibly be not saved by god, if he exists. but then again, if he does exist, i know he's merciful enough to let me in up there. or at least mary would.

i was so infuriated, that i can't even remember the remark this other student made.
  ¶ 5:13 PM 0 Comments

  hoag hall - art gallery was in the art gallery earlier today. there is this video installation by people from denver (i think) and it kinda reminded me of the russian in sex and the city.

the first one i saw was this labyrinth-like pile of rocks and stones. and as you go in, the rocks and stones become tighter. like as you walk in, you feel your energy being suppressed and you feel like you have to break free and all. then, on the way out, there is this release of your wound up emotions.

doesn't make that much of a sense, but it kinda sound poetic, don't you think? :-)

next one is a computer application thingie. it's a picture in 360 view, just click and drag. it doesn't touch any of my emotions mainly because i've seen the place before, it looks like the family ranch. it felt like standing up in our hills looking down. i don't get it, frankly.

i like the third one, alot! there is this essay while you look at the tv screen. the artist was saying something about how she thought water and fire are exact opposites, that the absence of one is the presence of the other, and the presence of one extinguishes the other. but after so many months of contemplation and staring at an open fire, she saw how the fire movement is very much fluid like water. since then, she never thought the two were opposites. doesn't that sound like a good story?

the fourth one is another i didn't understand. two tv screens showing the same thing. it has a very the ring feel to it, since the screens only showed a clock. that's it.

anyway, the last one has about nine or ten, maybe even twelve wall clocks, and all run backwards! even the numbers on the face are all wrong. it was so cool! and written below the clocks are phrases about time like, one leg at a time, father time, time after time. it was indeed pretty cool.
  ¶ 8:25 PM 0 Comments

  why one should always let go thanks to lee from the rushers mailing list! this little poem made my day!

never hold your farts in.
they travel up your spine, into your brain,
and that's where shitty ideas come from.

the best!
  ¶ 8:42 PM 0 Comments

  mcdo's dilemma once upon a time, i mentioned somewhere here that mcdonald's might end up as a manufacturing industry. here's another story.

mcdonald's is not going to have their supersize fries anymore.

as my friend rey said... "what?!"

well, mcdonald's said it is a health issue. well, health issue my ass, i know mcdonald's is in trouble. last year, mcdonald's did something they haven't done in like forty years - reported a quarterly loss. but come on, think about it, after the big mac and the mc chicken nuggets, mcdonald's wasn't able to come up with new innovations. and even if mcdonald's is still raking in cash and still making enough profits to keep the bottom line figures look okay, the cash is coming from outside the US. i heard last year, mcdonald's opened 3,000 more stores, most of which is outside the borders.

doesn't it scare you that mcdonald's, the donald trump of the burger-flipping industry, is in a shaky situation?
  ¶ 7:13 PM 0 Comments

  grace's grace now this girl is from a different plane of existence, she was - in a twisted sense - sucked into this world. we should not be together in the same plane because we are the same person.

she was born on march 3 - me? the 8th. our favorite color is blue. we both have a mole on our chins - both slightly on the left side and weren't as conspicuous when we were younger. we both love to dance. we were always on top of our classes. we are both still in college, both always late in class. she has a great voice and should sing more often, i, on the otherhand, sing too often and should not. we are both the eldest kids in the family, both our dads travel alot in a ship. we both love will and grace, the x-files and the wonder years! i'm guessing she loves a walk to remember - the only chick flick i would admit that i liked and almost made me cry. and damn it, we are both easy on the eyes.

like i said, we are the same person.

not a single day passes without me thinking of her - well, that's because i have our one and only picture together stuck on my wall, just infront of my desk where i always sit to read. i think i would not be the person that i am today if i didn't meet this girl who complements me. she is the heart to the soul that is me.

sophia deanne grace manalo, happy birthday! i wish i could be there to give you a wet smack, be thankful i'm stuck here for a while, HA! i really miss you, grace!

my only concern is when she was born, five days later, i turned one.
  ¶ 10:16 AM 0 Comments

  granma's birthday i didn't know that my granma's birthday is on a march day as well, just like me and my bro saul. maybe that is why even after seventeen or so years not seeing each other, we still a different kind of connection. maybe because we are both pisceans. or maybe because i'm her eldest's eldest. or maybe i'm just damn lovable, HA!

anyway, she's 67 today... something i shouldn't have said but there it is. i sometimes regret the fact that somehow, i was robbed of a could-have-been-a-deeper relationship with her. of course, there is no one to blame, i just feel cheated. like i said, she's 67 now, out of all those years, i've only been around for less than two years out of 23 years of being her grandson. sigh...

happy birthday, granma! i'm glad i made it home.
  ¶ 7:28 PM 0 Comments

  the day after the oscars i am so happy to see sean penn win an oscar for mystic river. i think it's a bit delayed since i saw him in i am sam, and i thought he should have won then. i haven't seen the pianist, but adrien brody better did one hell of an acting job there.

charlize theron won the best actress award, which i also thought was just right. i think she did good in monster. she was a pretty convincing as an ugly lady. wouldn't she be a threat to not-so-pretty actresses around? anyway, i didn't know she's with stuart townsend (sidebar: i think he is a better lestat than tom cruise).

i'm not too thrilled with renee zellweger, though. i think holly hunter was better than her, it's just that renee is a more popular choice. don't get me wrong, renee is good but i don't think she is as good as hunter.

sofia coppola won best original screenplay. now the coppola family has another oscar winner. if i'm not mistaken, she is the first american woman to be nominated for best directing (which was won by peter jackson). i was rooting for her for best directing, but i knew jackson was going to get it.

it was a sweep for lord of the rings when it came to best picture. again, i wasn't surprised. it was the most popular choice. doesn't that suck? there is actually a separate list for who should win and who would win.

even the oscars is politically inclined.
  ¶ 10:22 AM 0 Comments