i haven't said enough...
Friday, April 30, 2004
  an open letter
i spent the past twenty months hoping that i am home with my family, friends and most of all with you. but you said it yourself:

i am here, and you are there. maybe you are right, i should start living my days here, as you live yours there.

take care of yourself always.

  i'm one lucky bastard
was checking my grades online for this management class. as i was checking it, i found out that i accumulated 899 points out of 1000. the number kinda makes me feel iffy, so i checked our grading scheme. i was one-fucking-point away from getting an A minus, and stuck with a B plus.

first thing i did was to check base with the my prof, and guess what, he gave me an A minus anyway. HAHA! ain't that grand?
Thursday, April 29, 2004
  one more day...
amen, just one more day, i'm done with school. one more day... one day more... another day, another destiny, this never ending road to calvary...

hmm... better search for that les mis song. brb...

found it:

one day more.
another day, another destiny,
this neverending road to calvary.
these men who seem to know my crime will surely come a second time.
one day more.

i did not live until today.
how can i live when we are parted?

one day more.

marius and cosette:
tomorrow you'll be worlds away.
and yet with you my world has started.

one more day all on my own.

marius and cosette:
will we ever meet again?

one more day with him not caring.

marius and cosette:
i was born to be with you.

what a life i might have known.

marius and cosette:
and i swear i will be true.

but he never saw me there.

one more day before the storm!

do i follow where she goes?

at the barricades of freedom.

shall i join my brothers there?

when our ranks begin to form,

do i stay, and do i dare?

will you take your place with me?

the time is now.
the day is here.

one day more!

one day more to revolution
we will nip it in the bud.
we'll be ready for these schoolboys,
they will wet themselves with blood.

one day more!

watch 'em run amuck
catch 'em as they fall.
never know your luck when there's a free-for-all.
here a little dip
there a little touch.
most of them are goners so they won't miss much!

rebel students:
one day to a new beginning
raise the flag of freedom high.
every man will be a king.
every man will be a king.
there's a new world for the winning.
there's a new world to be won.
do you hear the people sing?

my place is here
i fight with you.

one day more!

marius and cosette:
i did not live until today

one more day all on my own.

i will learn their little secrets,
i will know the things they know.

one day more!

watch 'em run amuck.
catch 'em as they fall,
never know your luck when there's a free-for-all.

i will join these little schoolboys

tomorrow we'll be far away
tomorrow is the judgment day.

tomorrow we'll discover
what our god in heaven has in store.
one more dawn.
one more day.
one day more!

Tuesday, April 27, 2004
  an homage to warhol and monroe's altarpiece

Andrew Warhola was born and raised in Pittsburgh and of Czechoslovakian descent. He graduated from Carnegie Institute of Technology in 1949 and became an illustrator. Being in the business of commerce and art, he was exposed to lots of opportunities to show his work. That break came in 1962 in Los Angeles, his personal artwork in the Ferus Gallery. The exhibit included the famous Campbell's Soup Cans. He has become one of the most famous pop artists. His way of doing his artwork is intentional poor duplication of reproductions of popular and everyday items, which includes Coke bottles, and pictures of known actors and events. His works mostly dealt with the superficiality of being celebrities and how everything "known" or popular is merely manufactured items. He is known for giving the remark: "In the future, everyone will be famous for fifteen minutes." On a personal note, I find this very prophetic of the artist, mainly because now, we see how everyone can be famous in the dawn of reality television shows that we have nowadays. Valerie Solanas, a member of Warhol's circle, shot the pop artist in the same year she released the SCUM (Society for Cutting Up Men) Manifesto, a pamphlet describing why men should be systematically removed from the society. Warhol never recovered the shot he took, after which, he concentrated on making experimental films. Warhol passed away after a gall bladder surgery in New York, late February of 1987. Even in facing death, he said, "I never think that people die. They just go to department stores."

One of the best-known works of Warhol is the Marilyn Diptych. It portrays fifty reproductions of Marilyn Monroe's face - half in color, the other half in black and white. I find this as a symbolism of a certain presence and absence - the presence of colors during the glamour of Monroe; and the absence of colors after the death of Marilyn. It is interesting that such an artwork has a "religious" touch to it since diptychs are altarpieces reserved for saints and the holy. It somehow elevates the image of Monroe to sainthood - worshipped and looked upon with reverence. It gives attention to the public image of the actress and not to her personality, a focus on the superficial rather than the substance. Warhol used a print-screen printing technique, so he can reproduce the picture several times. This gives focus on the process of how celebrities are but manufactured items. It is also to note that the artwork started with colored images of Monroe, and as you pan to the right, the color shifts to black and white, and further on fades.
I think Warhol was not only showing his artwork as a finished product of a great craft but rather, he wanted us to see the process of making such artwork like the Marilyn Diptych. This is a work of art coming from a man who calls his studio a "factory." This is a man who thought everything is but a commodity, and he did well on showing this through his work and his lifestyle as well. Even if one does not believe in Warhol's ideals and philosophies, one cannot deny him of utmost respect, as he led his life accordingly to what he thought was right. He was not only successful in showing his artworks commercially, I do not think this was his point, but rather he wanted to get the idea across that we live in a world where everyone can be idolized, for we are but manufactured and molded products according to the norms and standards of the society. We live in a place where everything can be done and be commercially flourishing if we follow a formula that is based on an image the public demands.
Andy Warhol is known until today because he used subjects - Campbell's Soup Cans, Coke bottles and Marilyn Monroe - that are still known today.
  i'm a sucker for these self-test...
i took another of those tests, this time, it's a harry potter kind.

i'm in gryffindor!

be sorted @ nimbo.net

Saturday, April 24, 2004
  i'm pretty convinced... i better get a car soon
last night, there was a party in the apartment complex since next week is finals week - meaning students tend to be crazy. was up pretty late, even forgot to call my friend in NJ!

then around 11 this morning, my boss eva called me up to remind me of our end of the month meeting and asked if i could bring something for the pot luck (um, you want me to bring pot?). i said ok and went back to sleep for thirty more minutes.

now when i got up, i wasn't sure if i was dreaming or if eva did call me! had a hard time convincing myelf that she did call, even after i took a peek in my phone's call log. so i took a quick shower then i headed to the bus stop.

it was my first meeting at my work! and i've been working there for seven months now! i bought two half gallon ice cream (that makes a gallon, no?) and some mini-bowls and spoons just in case we don't have any in stock in the break room. when i got there, the first thing they said was, "you brought ice cream!" instead of, "hi, ken!" ain't that sweet, HAHA!

the meeting was about relations between co-workers. had too many fights during the past month. he said this, she said that... it's soooo high school. anyway, eva brought up that i'd be working more hours this summer which is okay. more money for me, hehehe...

then on my way back home (so i could catch some Zzzz since i'll be working later at ten pm til tomorrow at six in the morning), i took the bus and there was this guy who kept going "hee... tee... hee..." by himself! it's a loud high-pitched... groan? moan? and it's driving me nuts! then i realized he wasn't doing it intentionally. i think he can't help but give off these noises. he was even hitting himself just to stop himself from making all that sounds! at one point, he even bit himself. and i tell you, i saw them bite marks in his hands, they were pretty deep.

and to top it all of, a big lady, humungous even, got in the bus. she has the biggest ass i have ever seen - and not in a sexy way. she has this oh-my-god-don't-sit-next-to-me big kind of ass.

that's it! when i have enough money, i'm buying me a car.
Friday, April 23, 2004
  "i am the vampire lestat..."
i took this vampire self-test (another quiz, i know...) and confirms my doubt that i am a lestat - looks young, very cold, childish, a brat and of course, gwapo, hahaha!

congratulations! you are truly the brat prince.
what an honor to be as cool as lestat.

which anne rice vampire are you most like?

  one final exam down, one to go...
i'm supposed to be in class today for a final review for my accounting final exam next friday, but the instructor told me (and four other students) to leave - we already have an A in her class! :-) that's one of her weird policies, exemption from the final exams if you aced all four previous tests. if you are not exempted, your final exam score will replace your lowest test score even if your finals exam score is lower than the lowest test score.

so that's one final exam to worry about.

i already had my final exam in management policies and strategies, but i still have to be in class during the final exam schedule to answer a survey or evaluation, i'm not quite sure.

in my art history class, i just have to get ready for a test, not an exam, since we don't have one. i think this last test is the coolest since we discussed cubism, expressionism, pop art and other recent to contemporary arts. was totally excited when we discussed andy warhol, i think he is so cool. i wish i could live my life the way he lived up to his ideals. well, i don't agree with his ideals in the first place, but he lived his life according to what he thinks is right. very... non-hypocritical.

i still have to take one accounting exam though, but i think i'm doing okay in that class.

and yeah, there's still one more management class to study for, operations management. i really need to study for that class if i want an A.
  autumn in new york, spring in colorado
it was raining last night like hell, which is okay, it is spring time after all. i kinda like it, too, reminds me of p.i. but lo and behold this morning, it's fuckin' snowing (wow... rhymes).

many of my relatives' first question when i talk to them is about the weather, particularly about snow. here's a reality check to those who haven't experienced snow: it ain't fun.

it's not running around, throwing snow balls at each other, making snow angels on the ground. it's hard to drive (not that i do), it's hard to walk across this slushie-like ice ground, and it freakin' freezes my balls.

(note to self: tight and snug on cold weather. no boxers.)
Wednesday, April 21, 2004
  guys' rules
got this from ate in, whose e-mail was surprisingly diverted to my bulk mail. i think i'm gonna put my two cents in with these entries... but considering the high inflation, should i say my buck worth of thoughts?
but then again, there's tax, so it's back down to two cents... hmmm...

learn to work the toilet seat. you're a big girl. if it's up, put it down. we need it up, you need it down. you don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

i am soooo grateful that my mom trained me pretty well about this. so far, i haven't had complaints from the ladies about putting the seat down.

sunday sports. it's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. let it be.

i'm no sports fanatic til i got here and got hooked with football. i have no idea who the people are, but i enjoy the violence.

shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.

true, true. if i go to the mall, i could be in and out in less than thirty minutes.

crying is blackmail.

tell me about it...

ask for what you want. let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! just say it!

HAHAHA! i remember, a close friend of mine (to those who know
her, wink! wink!), my close buds and me were drinking and i was flirting with somebody else, she out of the blue blurted out,
"'tang ina, ang manhid mo!" yes, i am, baby.

"yes" and "no" are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

and nothing in between! no gray areas!

come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. that's what we do. sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

nanay ko nga, di ko pakitaan ng simpatya... HAHA!

a headache that lasts for seven months is a problem. see a doctor.

i don't get this one...

anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument! in fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.

YES! exactly why i never write letters, because afterwards, i'll forget what
i wrote down and a letter is a physical evidence against me.

if you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.


if you think you're fat, you probably are. don't ask us.

especially me. don't ask me, i might answer!

if something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

not true for me, though.

you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. not both. if you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


whenever possible, please! say whatever you have to say during commercials.

HAHA! ate in knows A LOT about this when we are on the phone.

christopher columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

i can't relate to this yet, i don't drive.

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. pumpkin is also a fruit. we have no idea what mauve is.

go get a box of crayons. you are holding a box of our limitation.

if it itches, it will be scratched. we do that.

ang hapdi, natitiis. ang kati, hindi.

if we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. we know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

i'm beginning to think i know what the seven-year head ache is all about, hehehe...

if you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

example: the ever popular am-i-fat question.

when we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... really.

still, i could hear "do i look fat in this dress?" ringing in my head.

don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.

HAHA! i can't relate to this, too. i know zilch about baseball, shotguns and monster trucks.

you have enough clothes.

you are not a celebrity.

you have too many shoes.

and only a pair of feet. you are not imelda.

i am in shape. round is a shape

need i say more?
Tuesday, April 20, 2004
  who's gonna comfort me?
i woke up pretty early today, around six, considering i went to bed a little bit before two am.

took a quick shower, shaved, fixed my hair, put on a black long-sleeved black shirt over a collared white shirt and some nice fitting jeans that gives soooo much justice to my ass, and put on my black boots.

dang, i feel sexy today.

if i see me in a bar, i'll fuck me.
Monday, April 19, 2004
  seals on cnn
was watching cnn at work (what a geek, watching cnn around 1am), and saw these seals being hunted by um, hunters.

i have seen pretty violent stuff - for crying out loud, i'm a tarantino fan - but this was horrendous! they were beating these seals with clubs! these defenseless seals are killed by blows on the head!

i'm a closeted-environmentalist. i show more pity to animals than i do to my sorry ass friends. but to my defense, i only pity people who are in a beyond sorry state, and i make sure my friends don't reach that level, that's why i don't pity my friends.

anyway, these are times i wish there is karma. i hope these hunters become seals in the next lifetime. and i'll be a female polar bear with a bad case of pms hunting them down one by one.
  student achievement
i was supposed to attend this student achievement awards ceremony and lunch yesterday.

i was at work saturday night, got home around 7 sunday morning and slept til 11:30. just brushed my teeth, got my hair did, put on jeans and a shirt and went straight to the student center. it was so windy i had to go to the rest room first before i show up to register. so i decided to use the back door that was facing the dorms rather than the front doors.

amen, i used the back door. everyone was wearing suits and ties and all that. it was like a "revenge of the nerds" reunion. hoping no one saw me, turned around quickly and headed back home.

sleep - free lunch... i chose to sleep!
  ain't that charming?
i'm a charmed fan and was pretty glad last night 'coz they have the new episodes out again.

the last time i remember was piper and the other two sis finally found out that chris is piper's second son, wyatt's younger bro. after that, leo decided to stay "up there" and do his elder duties. well, he's been out for a while - like six months - so he has no idea that he has another son.

so piper now is six months pregnant - which is convenient since holly marie IS pregnant - and there is this spider lady hunting for her. the spider lady puts her victims in a cocoon and feeds on their magic. so piper would be a great feast for her plus the fact that she's pregnant with another half-witch, half-whitelighter, so that would be like dessert.

she attacked the manor and chris was scratched at the neck trying to protect his mom. they didn't know yet that the spider lady's scratch has poison in it, so chris started this spider transformation.

the spider lady attacked again but the three sisters had no idea that chris was under the influence of the spider lady so they were caught off guard. spder lady spun a cocoon on piper while chris started hitting on his aunts. chris fell that, got his ass kicked by the two sis and trapped him in the basement (stupid thought since he can orb, but he didn't which i think somethink the writers overlooked). spider lady got away but left piper sticking up the wall.

spider lady continued talking to chris telepathically. chris starting to have ugly nails, teeth-fangs and all the works. phoebe insisted on callingleo but paige has qualms about it 'coz phoebe is a blabber mouth and paige's pretty sure phoebe will spill the beans about the relationship between leo and chris. but they really needed his help, so what the hell. leo arrived, with a gold cloak and unmatching shoes, and the first thing phoebe did was tell that chris is his son. leo's knees weakened, had to sit down but has to save piper, no time to think about it. they made a potion for killing spider lady and made a potion for chris.

chris became a spider man already, he can transform to a spider already. all of a sudden, empath phoebe started throwing statements to leo like "you abandoned us", "you were never there for me" yada yada. phoebe thought maybe her powers was expanding since they thought chris was in the basement, then paige suggested that maybe he's nearer that they think. tada, chris turned back to human, spun web from wrists ala spider-man and orbed mommy to the spider lady's lair.

they scryed for piper, found her but had troubles getting inside the door made of web. yes, the web on the door was as hard as a rock. they got the help from an ogre, a fairy and a wood nymph (a side story in the episode). when the spider lady came out, they had the usual fight of setting a trap for the villian, throw the potion, missed, looking helpless, then the spider lady transformed to a spider, the ogre stepped on her, splat. piper is ok now, but they still have to deal with spider-infected chris.

chris locked himself and leo inside the lair. chris was beating the crap out of leo. dang, that boy could throw a punch. leo, after being a higher being, an elder, has turned into a complete asshole. i don't understand that really. he started saying, "why do you hate me so much? did i miss your school play? did i play favorites with wyatt?" lalala. pissed off chris threw leo up in the air, and again started to just beat the shit out of leo. piper figured if she drinks the potion, chris will be healed. such was true, chris became chris again, but the kid did not stop throwing punches. piper was able to calm down chris later on.

ending: on top of the golden bridge, chris was visited by leo. of course, chris didn't say why he was so pissed off of his dad.

til next week!
Friday, April 16, 2004
  black and white people
ok, my management professor claims that nothing in management, or in everything about life for that matter, may be considered as black or white, but colorful. i don't think so. that does make me a cold person?

see, i've always thought that there are no gray areas, that everything may be broken down to something basic, say a picasso painting may be reduced to its basic lines of vertical and horizontal, to its basic colors of red, yellow and blue, and its basic values of black or white.

if you ask somebody about abortion, it's either he's for it or not, not "it depends" which is the lamest answer i know. answering "it depends" only makes me think that somebody's morals can easily be compromised depending on the situation.

i dunno, but i really see everything in black or white. and because of that, i changed as much as i could in this blog to grayscale and not in full color.
  swearing at work
dear employees:

it has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will be no longer been tolerated.

we do however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers.

therefore, a list of "try saying" new phrases has been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

try saying: i think you could use more training.
instead of: you don't know what the fuck you're doing.

try saying: she's an aggressive go-getter.
instead of: she's a ball-busting bitch.

try saying: perhaps i can work late.
instead of: and when the fuck do you expect me to do this?

try saying: i'm certain that isn't feasible.
instead of: no fucking way.

try saying: really?
instead of: you've got to be shitting me!

try saying: perhaps you should check with...
instead of: tell someone who gives a shit.

try saying: i wasn't involved in the project.
instead of: t's not my fucking problem.

try saying: that's interesting.
instead of: what the fuck?

try saying: i'm not sure this can be implemented.
instead of: his shit won't work.

try saying: i'll! try to schedule that.
instead of: why the hell didn't you tell me sooner?

try saying: he's not familiar with the issues.
instead of: he's got his head up his ass.

try saying: excuse me, sir?
instead of: eat shit and die.

try saying: so you weren't happy with it?
instead of: kiss my ass.

try saying: i'm a bit overloaded at the moment.
instead of: fuck it, i'm on salary.

try saying: i don't think you understand.
instead of: shove it up your ass.

try saying: i love a challenge.
instead of: this job sucks.

try saying: you want me to take care of that?
instead of: who the hell died and made you boss?

try saying: he's somewhat insensitive.
instead of: he's a prick.

thank you,
human resources
  squirrels don't fly
there are squirrels everywhere in this school. you would find them scurrying around the fountain, running up and down the trees, and there like philippine butikis, they can run up and down the walls, especially here where the walls have pebbles.

sometime last week, it was raining pretty hard, so everything was wet - including the walls of the buildings. as i was walking on my way back home, i heard a SLAP sound, like a big slab of meat was dropped to the floor - a squirrel dropped in front of me.

so there was i, wet and cold, and not farther than five feet away from me is a squirrel on its side, save the one leg jerking.

i was soooo freaked out, thinking i just saw a squirrel died in front of me! then i walked closer to check, he then jumped back up and ran away. this freaking squirrel scared the shit out of me and he's alive?! he must have fallen at least a storey high.

so i continued on walking and looked up where the squirrel must have been before it plunged to his possible death. maybe the squirrel was suicidal. and guess what i found - another squirrel. i just bet that other squirrel was laughing its butt off.

it wasn't an attempted suicide - it could have been murder.
Wednesday, April 14, 2004
  truefaith: ala-ala
was cleaning my zip disks, looking for crap to delete and i found one special disk: LAVOXA pics! to those who do not know, LAVOXA is de la salle lipa's student publication paper, i was with them for like three years.

anyway, here's ate in. she is in new jersey now. i think she's getting ready to sleep here, check out the pjs! we talk almost every night but the last time i saw here was way back in 2002.

and here's rey, next to ate, my most obnoxious caller, HAHA! constant text mate, but every now and then, disappears for a while. just like some islands in the philippines when the tide is high - ask charlene. note: he is not drugged up or hammered in this picture, this is how he looks like normally:

here are our hot mamas vicky and angel. you know vix and anj, you should make an adult video, you'll earn big bucks, i tell you. you have at least one person buying a video here already.

and bibba and con. both of them were editors in chief at one point. thesis mates, they did the works like several nights before the presentation. i dunno why but a common trait that i have with these peeps is we work better under pressure. you know what bibba and con, you should never attempt to make an adult video... hehehe...

angel again with leo and joel. trust me, angel is NOT the lucky one here. and that dark thing looming on the right is joel, not angel's shadow:

divine! i think she was a freshman here, and it's her first time to attend a poetry reading in la salle. she looks like a kid here... kinda creepy, if you ask me:

if divine is around, my hane would certainly be lurking by! ji (short for jicelle) has got to be one of the loudest friends i have, and when divine is with her, it's like... like... like an episode of chip and dale.

voltez V! well, minus me. we are the five hard drinkers (minus joel HAHAHA!) of LAVOXA. deej is the one with the distorted face, joel is on the left, leo on the right and the only supposedly-girl on the center, ji.

LAVOXA family. i think this is the last picture i have with all of us (er, most of us) together:

Tuesday, April 13, 2004
  grace's reply to grace's grace
more than a month ago, my bestest friend had her 22nd birthday and i posted a little letter for her in this blog (check out the archives). here's her reply:

hayy, dear kix..

today is the 8th, your birthday... 5 days ago i did not dare open my email - sad that greetings will come but will just turn out to be forgotten by me - as there might not be anyone who would greet my real person and remember
"her" on that day. thank you for doing just that. thank you for remembering ME on my birthday.

but today is already the 8th, your birthday... and although some things
have changed, im so glad some things have stayed the same. all of these are your gifts, always be grateful for them. just as i am very much grateful to have crossed "life"-planes with you some 22/23 years ago.

i find that i appreciate my self more when you find yours
full of worth. and that keeps me happy all year round despite this physical distance.

..about the one year gap, i think that's when all things meant to be
different between us have started sprouting.. hehe..

dear kix,
happy birthday

amishew, grace!
here's a pic of my sis being goofy:

don't be fooled by the name, she stabbed me with a pencil before - twice.
Saturday, April 10, 2004
  friends' profiles according to moi
since the whole apartment complex where i am and the whole campus is under one computer system, we don't have YM. so i direct my friends to this blog where we can use that mini-chatbox on the left panels. and if you find the time to check out the archives, you'll have a picture of my personality and my friends' as well.

he's a friend who hasn't lost touch yet, amen. my connection to the philippines, my reporter, my text sender, what else? hmmm....
i honestly hate it when people call him babol, which is his last name. i mean, he has a name, you know, why call him with his last name. he isn't bush, or clinton.
he's my best bud :-) he has a few loose screws but that is part of his charm HAHAHA! if you wanna know my secrets, ask him.

ababibba-ababuena, she is hilarious! we used to have fist fights. seriously, we punch each other. we would sometimes show off our bruises the following day.
thanks to her work schedule, we find time to chat or to e-mail each other.
she doesn't know, but sometimes, i use her to gauge if what i am doing is still in the confines of the society's norms HAHAHA! there are times that i don't even know what is moral and what is not anymore!

i am sooooooooooo proud to say that i introduced him to alcohol. he was a beer, gin, vodka, tequila, everything else - virgin when i met him, and now, look at him. one shot of gin and he will tell you his inner most secrets. there was even a time when we went over a friend's place, got drunk, went home, then realized he wasn't wearing his shoes.
let's all bow our heads. it's a surprise he's alive today.

don't be fooled, she just looks like an innocent girl, but that's it. her relationship with kiel is like a rollercoaster - repetitive, breath-taking, sickening, exciting, has its lows and highs - and you'd still love to have a ride again... or at least watch from afar.
we met when i was like eleven and she was ten. i honestly don't remember that, but she does.

my sistah! she's an only girl, i'm mom's only boy, so we adopted each other, HAHAHA!
very loud-mouthed, she's a step away from being a raging fag. but that what makes divine divine. you would really need to know her to pass that facade that she has.
  what kind of kisses do i give?
i took this seemingly stupid kiss test. to those who know me, well, you can be the judge.

you have a mysterious kiss. your partner never knows what you're going to come up next; this creates great excitement and arousal never knowing what to expect. and it's sure to end in a kiss as great as your mystery.

if you wanna know what kind of a kisser you are, click here.
Friday, April 09, 2004
  kurt cobain, survivor, apprentice, tru calling and champagne
yesterday was kurt cobain's death anniversary. i wonder sometimes how the music industry would be now if he did'nt pull the trigger ten years ago. he has been dubbed as my generation's john lennon.

we could have landed in mars ten years ago, but it would still be bitter-sweet because on kurt's demise.


survivor was freaking great last night! lex was bamboozled! boston rob, how dare you pull a quick one on lex! he freaking saved your girlfriend! shame on you, rob!


ohmygawd... the lovers were fired! amy and nick! it took a while for me to sink in, especially since i was rooting for them lovers! so kwame and bill are the left ones competing to work for the trumpster. and lo and behold the next project - nick, amy, heidi, omarosa, troy and katrina are back!

can't wait for next week. it would be a two-hour LIVE finale.


"help me"

i wouldn't know what to do if by some freak of nature i become a mortician or work in a morgue, then dead people would start asking for my help then the day would start all over again.

to the creators of tru calling, i raise my glass to you.


last night was hilarious! my roomie kim and i got bored. i was in class when she asked me to go out and have dinner. i said yes 'cause im beginning to get sick of delivered pizza.

we went out and went to kfc. she bought dinner this time, since i paid for her dinner the last time we went out drinking. anyway, after that, we went home asap since we wanna catch tru calling.

and in the middle of tru calling, her friend chrissy called and was asking if kim has this number on her phone book, and to our surprise, it was a philippine number! 63 919 then seven digits more! what a stroke of chance! so i called up ate in to confirm that it's a philippine number and kim was like, "yeah, chrissy, that's a philippine number, ken asked her friend from the philippines" and i'm like, "duh, kim, I AM from the philippines!" well, i forgot to mentioned that we downed a bottle of champagne since we don't have money for beer! HAHAHA!

we were supposed to do our homework, but we ended up just watching tv til 11.
Wednesday, April 07, 2004
i'm beginning to think my dad is right: filipinos in the US are manic-depressive.

i was having the greatest morning earlier, even if it started pretty slow and sad, was listening to my immortal and linger. but it was a steady up rise from there. even heard liz phair's extraordinary which i rarely catch on the radio. then linger lingered, i got a bit depressed.

i feel for dolores (that's the name of the lead of cranberries, right?), she seems to be so in love, singing i'm in so deep, you know i'm such a fool for you, you got me wrapped on your finger..., but then she was left behind. 'nakngputa, ang lungkot...

i don't talk that much in filipino here, huh? well, if i did, somebody out there might report me to blogger and i might be banned.

but that's another story, back to my singing blues mood.

lately, i have been listening too much to john mayer. back to you is such an in-your-face song! he started with saying he always comes back to her, like she got him wrapped around her fingers (no accident, a direct reference to the cranberries song), but later he said, he comes back to him, and doesn't it bother her that she doesn't have a hold on him like before.

Sunday, April 04, 2004
name four things you are thinking about :
classes, my VA grant, the kids, the near future

name the last four things you have bought:
gameboy advance sp, drafting mechanical pen, tons of envelopes and folders for my research, food

name four drinks you regularly drink:
coffee, tea, water, beer

last time you said 'i love you' and meant it :
last friday. my brother iya, who is three, jumped out of a van and yelled, 'kuya, i love you!' it was sooooo out of the blue.

last time you cried:
i can't remember. i haven't cried in a long time.

what's in your cd player?
john mayer, room of squares. starting to fall in love with back to you.

what color socks are you wearing?

what's under your bed?
ha! i remember this one because i was cleaning my room earlier: a box of unopened air mail envelopes, a dust cloth, an unopened condom (that won't be used in a long time), dirty socks (about fifteen pairs) and a rotting corpse.

what time did you wake up today?
around 2pm, had work last night, so i slept all day.

current hair
pretty long. my friend jeree would probably kill me when she sees me.

current clothes
like right now? a white shirt under a zip up sweat, jeans.

current longing

current worry
new apartment, and my classes. i might end up graduating on may2005, but would still have to take one more freaking class!

current hate
job sched and school sched

last cd you bought
lilith fair ni mclachlan with her collaborators like jewel and paula cole

favorite place to be
here, that would be by the fountain in campus. sa pinas, mcdonald's with my gang

least favorite place
none really

could you play any instruments?
i used to play the keyboards, but that was a long time ago.

favorite color

do you believe in afterlife

how tall are you?
ouch... 5'4" i think.

current favorite word/saying
um, not here. just ask me personally.

favorite season

one person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to:
hmmm... ang mamaine. just to clear things up.

favorite day
thursday. survivor night, tru calling, the apprentice, friends, will and grace.

where would you like to go?
new york

how many kids do you want?
if possible, seven

favorite food
mexican, filipino, japanese
Friday, April 02, 2004
  the apprentice follow up
the trump is hosting saturday night live tomorrow!
  the apprentice
last night was great! so last week, katrina was fired. which leaves troy, bill and kwame on one side and leaving amy and nick - the sweethearts.

so the new project is to rent this penthouse in the trump tower. the lowest asking price for the penthouse for a night is *hold your breath* $20,000. so the two teams hit it off right away because donald trump told them about this project at nine in the morning, they have to sell by seven that same day.

bill, troy and kwame did well. they actually had two clients bidding against each other! the highest price i heard was like $35,000. so anyway, they got a signature. on the other hand, amy and nick are having a hard time. they were just sitting in the lobby, looking panicked, but not exerting any effort since they thought it's done, no way can they sell the place for a night. then two minutes before seven, this guy they talked to earlier, is still interested! and they got a signature! it was heaven sent, i'm telling you! (by this time, you should know that i'm rooting for nick and amy).

board room: tony's team - $35,001; nick's team: $40,000! and the fun part part is the prize, a day in the trump's mar-a-lago! if you don't know the mar-a-lago, do a search in the net, it's a ridicuously luxurious place. i mean, there are 18th century tapestries there that is worth more than a decent house in colorado. the place looks like a big chunk of gold, then the resort was carved out of it. and it was kinda fitting since it's for the sweethearts! HAHA!

they were picked up by trump's jet, and while waiting in the plane, the two were chatting and all. they look cute together :-) anyway, somebody boarded the plane with them and amy started screaming like a two year old. i mean SCREAM. hands in the air, mouth so wide open i bet i place a baby in it, high pitched screech. think tenth-year-high-school-reunion-seeing-each-other-for-the-first-after-several-years scream. it was her sister having lunch with them and nick's dad, too.

oh, by the way, troy was fired.

and here's a scoop: amy might be working for the trump whether she wins or not. the latest i heard is donald trumpster has been calling her on her cellphone "just to chat". wow...
Thursday, April 01, 2004
  permanent mark of a temporary insanity
i'm planning to have another tattoo. the one i have right now is on my lower stomach, slightly to my left. how low? low enough to make me shave when i got the tattoo HAHAHA! anyway, it's my name in kanji characters. it's kinda sexy, HAHA! that's a word that does not describe me!

well, i'm planning to have another one after seeing the underworld. if you've seen the movie, i dunno if you noticed viktor's cape, it has these celtic knottings that i thought were pretty cool. i can't get a good picture over the net, and even if i could, the design was pretty elaborate, so elaborate i can't copy it by hand. so my next choice is amelia's neckwear. click here for a pic of amelia before she was mauled by the lycans. pretty cool, huh?

my "version" is a bit different though, i skewed it a bit and all.

if all goes well this summer, i'm gonna have it on my lower back.

whatcha think?

if you are like some of my friends, this won't look like what i'll have on my back: the colors are inverted.
  top of the world
dixie chicks

i wished i was smarter
i wished i was stronger
i wished i loved jesus
the way my wife does
i wished it'd been easier
instead of any longer
i wished i could've stood
where you would've been proud
that won't happen now
that won't happen now

there's a whole lot of singing
that's never gonna be heard
disappearing every day
without so much as a word
think i broke the wings
off that little songbird
she's never gonna fly
to the top of the world
right now
top of the world

i don't have to answer
any of these questions
don't have no guide to
teach me no lessons
i come home in the evening
sit in my chair
one night they called me for supper
but i never got up
i stayed right there
in my chair

there's a whole lot of singing
that's never gonna be heard
disappearing every day
without so much as a word
i think i broke the wings
off a little songbird
she's never gonna fly
to the top of the world
right now

i wished i'd had known you
wished i had shown you
all of the things i
was on the inside
i'd pretend to be sleeping
when you'd come in, in the morning
to whisper goodbye
go to work in the rain
i don't know why
don't know why

cause everyone's singing
we just wanna be heard
disappearing every day
without so much as a word
wanna grab a hold
of that little songbird
take her for a ride
to the top of the world
right now

to the top of the world

my personal, emotional, intellectual, political, sexual, social, spiritual, scholarly, and childish rantings about anything conceivable by the human mind and felt by the human heart and soul.

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