i haven't said enough...
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
  i can't understand
avril lavigne's engaged?! to that guy from sum 41?! why?!
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
  as i stand here on my children's grave
i did not know why i was out in the ocean, sailing my sweet christine. all i knew back then was i had to sail. and there i saw him, half dead. why are you out here, my michael. i gave you your breath back, you lived because i willed such. and now i am bound to hurt you again, as i have done that christmas eve.

i am the thirteenth, the strongest in this twisted lineage of powerful witches. from the time suzanne called out to my lasher - my lover and my son - to that fateful christmas, my family's genes crossed between strangers and cousins and fathers and daughters. oh, oncle julien, why? why did you do this? you only made powerful witches, and the more powerful, the more crazy they seem. am i the same?

i was the one who brought lasher back to flesh, as he had predicted when suzanne called him into existence. i was the doorway. i was the one who can kill without even my knowledge. and somehow, being a neurosurgeon did not absolve me of my sins. i called lasher that night. and he was born a man. i bled. i almost died. i had to take him away from him, before my husband finds us. but i was too late, or michael came early rather, i do not know. i had to take him away. that is my sin. pride. but i can't destroy this creature, my son, my lover, a taltos. i have to know what makes him different from us! but my sin brought this great tragedy to my family of witches. aunt gifford, forgive me. many mayfairs i do not even know about. all died of miscarriage, as my son rampaged every single one of them, hoping to find a powerful witch strong enough to carry a child. another taltos. my emaleth, my daughter from my son. how i wished you lived long enough to know you and love you as i have loved my lasher.

but you left me half dead, the way i first met michael. i hear people, see them, but i can't find the strength to move my limbs. emaleth, you almost killed your mother! i was lucky enough to find my way back to first street - in the house michael revived from its dismal state. so did lasher. that sweet scent. i knew you were near. so did mona. all mayfair witches knew you were nearby by the account of your scent. by my michael cannot bear to see you, lasher. you knew what would happen. you always did. so why did you stay in michael's presence? you knew he will use a hammer to break your still soft skull. i am almost certain michael aimed at the fontanel - where you are most vulnerable. you should have stayed away from us, lasher. you should have.

so how did i wake from my vegetative state? my emaleth came. she ran her long thin fingers through my hair. i loved your scent. almost as sweet as your brother's, your father's. you gave me the milk from your breasts. so sweet. it was ecstatic. i wonder if lasher felt the same when he drank from me.

but i cannot let you live, my daughter. i just can't let you. i am only sorry that i had to take your life the way michael took lasher's. and just as michael did with lasher's body, i dug a grave by the pool, next to your brother.

now, i am back in my michael's arms. and i am scared of what i have to do. i have to go after the men who killed aaron.
Monday, June 27, 2005
  survey trip
stolen from ate i.n.

Three names you go by:
1. kix
2. kenneth
3. francis

Three screen names you have had:
1. ken2ts
2. um... ken2ts
3. ken2ts. very original.

Three physical things you like about yourself:
1. my hair. me like it. it's maes hair.
2. my ass :lol: i know they're not much, but i love 'em cheeks.
3. my left eye.

Three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. my flabs!
2. my skin. i have this rash that doesn't go awa. you should see me when i break out at winters.
3. my right eye

Three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. spanish
3. lakota

Three things that scare you:
1. needles near my eye.
2. pens near my eye.
3. pencils near my eye.

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. sunscreen
2. shower with the radio on
3. my cellphone

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. black boxer shorts
2. um...
3. ... that's about it. i'm at home.

Three of your favorite bands or musical artists:
1. jewel
2. matchbox twenty
3. black eyed peas

Three of your favorite songs:
1. you were meant for me, jewel
2. back 2 good, matchbox twenty
3. leave, matchbox twenty

Recent faves:
1. huwag na huwag mong sasabihin, kitchie nadal
2. my style, and my humps, black eyed peas
3. lua, coner oberst, bright eyes
Three things you want in a relationship:
1. love
2. trust
3. communication

Two truths & a lie (in no particular order):

Three physical things about the opposite sex that appeal to you:
1. eyes. the kind that when you look into 'em, you drown inside.
2. behind :lol: i'm not a boobie guy
3. height :lol: i want 'em short

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. reading
2. watching will and grace :-P
3. chatting

Three things you want to do really badly now:
1. sleep
2. make a rootbeer float. the ice cream and rootbeer are waiting in the fridge
3. watch a movie. been itching to see fantastic four

Three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. lotsa time on my hand, no money: fulltime artist
2. lotsa money, no time on my hand: fulltime accountant
3. an accountant in a museum

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. paris
2. boracay
3. any place where no one knows me

Three kid's names you like:
1. emma
2. angelina
3. arthur

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. go to europe
2. move and settle in the east coast
3. see the mona lisa

Three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. i never ask for directions
2. i have commitment issues :lol:
3. i burp when and where i wanna

Three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. i like cooking
2. i'm touch-y
3. i (almost) cried watching a walk to remember

Three celeb crushes:
1. kiera knightley
2. natalie portman
3. angelina jolie

Three people that i would like to see take this quiz now:
um, no one in particular. i'd pass.
  thanks to fay...
...for showing me this site. it's music WITH lyrics! yeah, sure, the choices are limited. so?
Sunday, June 26, 2005
  this is sad
got home around 7.30 this morning, had my breakfast, and just when i was about to sleep, i saw that movie crossroads on mtv, that brit flick, was just about to start. i usually sleep on the couch in the living room after working at the motel since when the sun rises in the morning, it is pretty bright in the bedroom. but britney spears singing open your heart to meeeee... by madonna made me laugh so hard, i can't get a shut eye! arg! i lost all "sleepiness" that my mind was so clear, i was able to change my template!

ain't that sad? :lol:
Thursday, June 23, 2005
  ho hum....
wala lang. bored.
  sorry for the delay, 'kay
if i could...
fay gave me this to pass around.

if i could be in one place right now
i'd be in europe, backpacking.

if i could give something to myself, to my friends
myself, more time to read.
my friends, more time to just hang around and bum.

if i could take some people somewhere
i'll take them all to ny.

if i could make one dream come true
um, i don't any "dreams". anything i want, pretty much i have them right now.

if i could do real magic
three: move things, read minds, talk to the dead.

i pass this to:
um, i'll pass on this one.
Monday, June 20, 2005
  drawing class result
so i went to school to pick up my portfolio in my drawing class, here's what i got:
ATTENDANCE: a C, got three absences since i went to DC for another art class. i would really raise hell if he counts attendance against me, since before i signed up for this drawing class, i asked him first if it would be a problem if i miss the last week since i'm also taking the art history class.
ANATOMICAL PROPORTION, IMPROVEMENT IN ANATOMY: an A. i know the female figure, 'nuff said.
OUTDOOR DRAWING ASSIGNMENTS, OUTDOOR COMPOSITION/IMPORVEMENT: an A. i'm mr. composition, magaling akong mag-crop :-P
FINAL GRADE: an A. ha!
Sunday, June 19, 2005
  CO - DC - NJ - NY
my long overdue story:

note: you can click on the pictures for a larger view. also, there are some pics inside museums. the fact that pictures were allowable, i assume that it would be fine to make them viewable to the public. anyone out there who works in the places i've been to, you can contact me if it's not cool, ok? no legal actions please, i'm poor. moving on...

so i took off for washington about two weeks ago. was an early morning flight, stopped at houston for about an hour then headed to DC. during my stay in the airports, i found it uncomfortable to be so comfortable in an airport. i loved the fact that no one knows me in an airport, then strike a conversation with some old lady or some guy who's read the book you are currently reading. i am never a sociable person, but it's different in an airport. people together, waiting for their planes, going somewhere else. in a sense, you are foreigners in the same foreign land.

but anyway, met up with natasha in the airport and took a cab together to georgetown university where we are staying. by the way, that university is goddam expensive! i heard tuition is $40K a year! well, it's catholic AND private. maybe that explains it. saw an early poster of clinton too, his poster when he was running for president in the student government. walked around with nat and ashley, and saw the exorcist stairs! remember that scene when the priest fell off the window and broke his neck? that's the place! and some guy wrote the lord's prayer on the side of the walls. and some jack ass wrote "don't trip" on the very top step! haha! very funny.

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monday, the 6th, we first went to the west and east buildings of the national gallery of art. grabe! i haven't seen so many paintings in my life. the west building is for classic works. and when i say classic, i mean van gogh, rembrandt, monet, giacometti, cezanne, raphael, el greco, van eyck, vermeer, boticelli, and lots more! it was rather overwhelming, not only because of the vast collection, but because of the number of great works and masterpieces, many of which were but small pictures in textbooks to me before.

left to right: rembrandt's self-portrait; leonardo's only portrait painting in the US; el greco's saint jerome; van gogh's self-portrait; a monet, my favorite impressionist

i fell in love with this! georges de la tour's the repentant magdalene.

went on to the east building which houses contemporary and modern art (there's a difference).

andy warhols

that tuesday wasn't really a fun day, if you ask me. went to hirshhorn, more modern art in this place. lots of warhols. i saw this ron mueck piece, it was freaking amazing! it was this huuuuge man, just sitting on a corner, and slightly looking at his right, giving this what-are-you-looking-at look. it was rather disturbing. now this is the main reason why i think art should be seen upfront rather than on text books, since some works are big, sometimes just the size gives this look-at-me presence to the work. here's mueck's work by the way:

wednesday, went to freer and sackler galleries. not fun as well, haha! these galleries show asian and african art, which by nature are very utilitarian. most of them are tools which are decorated. bad trip, i was expecting some works by hokusai, but there was none at all.

went to the renwick the following day. many classic work, with paintings shown in the classic salon way exhibition. and i wasn't expecting that i'd enjoy textile art! saw this work by holly junker. from afar, it looks like a big impressionist painting, but on closer look, it's pieces of cloth stitched together, ang galing!

also went to the white house. trip lang. bush passed by us, waved at us, too. it's a shame i wasn't wearing my "Don't blame me, I voted for Kerry" shirt.

went to the four memorials in DC as well: the vietnam, lincoln, korean and world war II.

l to r (shit, i look fat in all of these pictures): nam memorial wall, by maya lin. funny, she only got a B in this class. she describes the wall as a "scar on earth"; lincoln memorial; korean memorial; ww2 memorial, with the philippines included in the roster of "participants"; a nice view of the reflection pool, taken from abe memorial facing the washington monument.

last day, friday, went to the phillips collection and the national cathedral:

l to r: two mondrians, my favorite modernist. i like his philosophy, that everything can be deconstructed to its basics, colors to red, blue and yellow, lines to vertical and horizontal, and values to black and white; the national cathedral facade; inside the cathedral; natasha and i fucking around in the metro, notice me on the reflection behind her.

then it got exciting: i went to new jersey to see ate i.n! stayed there for four days. saw mr. and mrs. smith (sidebar: angelina = hot). went to atlantic city. then i urged ate to go to MoMA to see more modern art. of course, i had to see les demoiselle d'avignon by picasso! which i did :-) also saw van gogh's starry night! grabe. plus saw monet's reflections series. also saw mondrian's broadway boogie woogie, sayang, got no decent pic. kainis! i was soooo overwhelmed!

went to times square, saw a play (i love you, you're perfect, now change, freakin' hilarious), then went back to NJ for sleep.

the following day, went to central park, the southern port to see the statue of liberty, saw teyhodz (a friend from lipa), went to wall street as well.

l to r: ate and i with the liberty behind us (if you squint real hard, you'll see it); teyhodz and moi at the union park; bull statue at the financial district.

i know i can tell more stories, but by god, i'm so tired with all these html codes! but at any rate, i enjoyed my two-week trip :-)
Thursday, June 16, 2005
  back in colorado, stories later :-)
june 15, 2005

andito ako ngayon sa eroplano patungong colorado springs mula houston. kinakailangan kong isulat ito sa ibang wika dahil mukhang malinaw ang mata ng katabi ko. di ko nais na mag-isip siya ng anuman tungkol sa mga isinusulat ko kung magsusulat ako sa wikang kaniyang nakagisnan.

gaya ng sabi ko, ako ay lulan ng eroplano. marahil ay may mahigit ng isang oras ang nakakalipas simula ng lumipad kami mula texas. madaming bata sa flight na nakuha ko, maging ang lipad ko mula new jersey patungong houston ay maingay dahil sa mga bata. natutuwa naman ako at dala ko ang cd ng black eyed peas, monkey business. kahit papano ay nalulunod ang mga iyak ng mga bata sa likod ng "i wonder if i take you home, will you still be in love baby?"

gustung-gusto ko ng makauwi upang simulan ang mga kwento tungkol sa aking paglalagi sa mga museo ng washington dc at paglalakad sa mga kalsada ng new york city. ngunit kailangang maghintay muna ang mga ito. pagdating ko ng colorado ay tutuloy muna ako sa bahay ng mga daddy. kung tama ang pagkakaintindi ko, doon din tumitigil ang akong lolo at lola sa ngayon. at pagdating naman ng biyernes ay balik trabaho na muli ako, maging sa sabado. linggo lang ang naiisip kong pagkakataon na makapagsulat tungkol sa akong maikling bakasyon. tanda ko naman ang mga nagyari sa tulong ng isang talaarawan na isa sa mga kailangan ipasa sa akong guro para sa kurong kinuha ko ngayong summer. at marami din akong kuhang litrato! may mga litrato ako ng mga paborito kong gawa ng sining. hanggang ngayon ay nadadala pa rin ako ng aking emosyon tuwing naaalala ko na nakita ko ang mga orihinal na gawa nina rembrandt, picasso, van gogh, monet at mondrian. tama ang aking guro, sa isang araw kong paglalagi, marahil ay mas marami akong nakitang kahanga-hangang gawa kesa sa mga nakita na ng isang normal na tao sa buong buhay niya. sulit talaga ang pagpunta ko sa washington dc para sa kursong ito.

at ang pagpunta ko ng new jersey para makipagkita kay ate i.n ay isa pa sa aking mga nais ibalita.

hanggang dito muna, nais ko munang magbasa.
Friday, June 10, 2005
  washington DC preview
i'm having some ME time right now. i have lots of stories, and i'll try my best to keep them in a chronological order, but them stories will have to wait til i get back to colorado. but as of now, i am a happy boy. extremely.

i used to think that after graduation, i'll head out to denver, pass the board, get some more experience in the corporate world then head out to the east coast. washington DC changed that. i would not mind living here, even if the apartments are expensive, even if the everyday commute is horrible, even if i have to endure the painful long walks. i've said it so many times: travelling gives you more perspective in life.

my professor roy said that there are things in life that are suppose to happen, there are things that you make happen, and people that can make things happen. i say the future is a mass of threads woven to create possibilities, probabilities and inevitabilities. roy, you made things happen for me, and washington DC just became a great probability that i have no qualms of making an inevitability if i have the power to do so.

i fucking love DC!!!

will be leaving DC tomorrow by 1pm (au revoir!)and will meet up ate around 3pm IF SHE'S NOT LATE.
Saturday, June 04, 2005
  baby, i'm ready to go
i was frantic. i was scared. i was pissed off. i was ready to raise hell if i have to. last wednesday, i went to the financial services to appeal the suspension of my financial grants and scholarships. i already had to deal with this last year, since i exceeded the maximum credit hours that can be taken in college. the cap is 145, i already have 196. they placed this cap mainly because to avoid "professional students", student who go to school to get money from the government. but since 127 credits in my transcript are transferred from the philippines, of which i did not get any federal or state grants, the financial services approved my appeal last year. but this time around, they freaking denied it! i was furious when i got that call friday morning! what did i do different this year as opposed to last year that made the committee decide to fucking deny my appeal?! well, the head of the committee is a new guy, i'm guessing that's one factor. so i took a real quick shower, organized my portfolio for my art class and head out to school. swung by the studio to drop off my work, then went straight to the director of the financial services ready to ask, "what the fuck?" but when i got there, she was already looking at my appeal, my transcipts and my graduation planning sheet for fall 2005. she opened up the meeting by apologizing. she said there was a gross mistake considering i will be done by the next semester after this summer, more than half of my credits earned were self-financed and i have a kick-ass GPA. shoot, i was ready to deliver my i-thought-this-was-the-best-university-i-have-been-to-thank-you-for-proving-me-wrong speech. i got that straigthened out, amen. to think i have my latest bank statement and two of my latest pay stubs with me just in case i have to take a quick loan for my washington DC trip.

so here i am, doing laundry. i haven't packed up yet for later, sunday morning. my flight is at nine in the morning from colorado springs airport, and i'm taking off here from pueblo by around five in the morning. and that's pretty much it, i'm ready to go :-) can't wait :-P
Friday, June 03, 2005
  talk about traffic
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whoa! some people are really checking my blog lately! i was thinking maybe i have someone just keep returning and visiting my page, but there were only eight out of the 120 and so visits that were returning visitors. imagine that, 120 unique visitors a day... whoa...
  early in the morning blogging
from pretty girl abbie.

1. Current happening?
just got out of the shower, going to school real quick to drop off my drawings for my art class. will be missing the last week of classes since i'll be having a quick trip.

2. Current clothes?
like i said, just got out of the shower, just "wearing" a towel.

3. Current music playing?
dashboard confessional, live performance in mtv cd.

4. Current feeling?
fresh! bangu-bango ko, hehe...

5. Current show on tv?
golden girls! :lol: funny witty show.

6. Current pet peeve?
slooow processing of papers in the financial services in school.

7. Current occupation?

8. Currently talking to who?
ate i.n over YM.

9. Currently thinking of:
cleaning my place...

10. Currently doing?
getting my portfolio ready.

11. Currently imagining?
washington DC :-)

12. Current number of suitors
oh, shoot, yesterday, after i got home from school, i decided to walk over the subway nearby for a sub sandwich. this guy jumped - yes, jumped! - right in front of me and asked, "hey, girl where your home at?" i just smirked and said, "im not a girl" and his face turned red, considering he was with his guy friends watching him trying to hit on some "girl". ah, yes, another sexually confused boy because of me :lol:

13. Current boyfriend/girlfriend?
rowan mayfair (look it up).

14. Currently singing?
i hope you're as happy as you are pretending...

15. Current facial expression?

16. Current position?

17. Currently wearing any jewelry

18. color of footwear you are currently wearing
again, none.

19. Current recurring flashback
lasher being born. creepy.

20. Current hilarious moment
read number 12.

21. Current mannerism/s?
fixing my hair.

22. Current headliner/s of the day:
native coloradan wrecking havoc in DC.

23. Currently looking at
my fingernails. they need clipping.

24. Currently dreaming of
plane ride :-)

25. Currently wishing for
more sleep.
Thursday, June 02, 2005
  to do


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