i haven't said enough...
Monday, November 29, 2004
  love unspoken
without hope or agenda, and just because it is christmas (and you're supposed to tell the truth on christmas), my wasted heart will always love you.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
  let's have fun
First, recommend to me:
1. A movie
2. A book
3. A musical artist, song, or album

Then ask me three questions, no more, no less.
Ask me anything you want.

Then go to your journal, copy and paste this same post allowing your friends to ask you anything; say that you stole it from me.

I stole this from Abbie.

(note: sorry, copy and paste functions don't work around here!)
  thanksgiving 2004 - a photo essay

the turkey is done. all 20 pounds of it. some say it looked good. i say it looked like pissed off - at us.

we made turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans, stuffing (two different kinds), a great vegetable soup, creme brule, cranberry sauce, corn, corn bread, oranges stuffed with sweet potatoes. there are more, i just can't remember.

marty: ... and then i'm gonna hit the turkey hard, after that, i'll eat lots and lots of corn bread and mashed potatoes, and then ...

saul: so this is how a turkey looks like from here... ew...

look who decided to show up! it's dad's grandparents! yup, i said DAD'S.

iya: are you ready, marty? LET'S EAT!

poor turkey...

the aftermath

Wednesday, November 24, 2004
  let me touch you for awhile - alison krause & union station
It's been a long time coming
As you shed a lonesome tear
And now you're in a wonder
I wonder what you're doing here
The flame no longer flickers
You're feeling just like a fool
You keep staring into your liquor
Wondering what to do

I don't hardly know you
But I'd be willing to show you
I know a way to make you smile
Let me touch you for awhile

I'm gonna ruin my black mascara
You're drinking whisky when it should be wine
You keep looking into that mirror
But to me you're looking really fine

I don't hardly know you
But I'd be willing to show you
I know a way to make you
Laugh at that cowgirl as she's walking out your door
I know a way to make you smile
Just let me whisper things you've never heard before
Just let me touch you, baby
Just let me touch you for a while

I don't hardly know you
But i'd be willing to show you
I know a way to make you smile

It's been a long time
Let me touch you for a while
Tuesday, November 23, 2004
  CSU-Pueblo at nine pm
  wall paper
used to have christie monteiro as my wallpaper, im changing it to emma frost :-)

  4 to 13 are so under rated
what's up with u2's vertigo? i was listening to the new ipod commercial where u2 is doing their thing and i was like, "did i hear that right?" then i watched saturday night live last - guess what night - saturday, they performed vertigo and i think i am right with what i heard:

uno, dos, tres, katorce...

huh?! if you are gonna speak or learn a new language, the least you could do is to learn how to say hi, bye and count from one to ten!

bono, katorce ka dyan.
Sunday, November 21, 2004
  employee of the month
guess what, the only time i wasn't able to make it to the monthly meeting at work, and then i was the employee of the month. i didn't hear all the praises and the appluase, pucha.

so what do i get? wala lang, bragging rights.

Friday, November 19, 2004
  i am so excited
the UPS guy just left (i didn't know they deliver as late as 6:45pm...), and dropped my book and dvd :-) i feel like a seven year old waiting for christmas! i'm all giddy and happy ans excited and all that shit.

the dvd i got is the dreamers, and it's about this guy who went to paris and ended up having sex with a girl and her brother. of course, i got the uncut nc-17 version. gives me a reason to want to travel europe by myself :-P

the book is a season for the dead, and by golly, i didn't know i got the hardbound type. not that i'm complaining, but i have always been a paperback type of a reader. the setting i believe is in rome.

see the theme here? i really wanna go to europe.

anywaym i can't decide if i wanna bring my notebook to work so i could watch the dreamers, or just bring the book to read at work :-( hell, i'll bring both.

Tuesday, November 16, 2004
  i will kill bill
i am still not over kill bill. the dvd has been parked in my drive for the past week already. anytime i need a good rush, "bitch, you don't have a future" always gives me that. L and B. elle driver vs beatrix kiddo. not even buffy the vampire slayer nor charlie's angels can give me that excitement watching darryl hannah and uma thurman duking it out like bitches in heat. and darryl hannah as a bitch, whew! she has always played goodie-two-shoes roles, this one is way out there. she is so bad ass in the movie, i wanna slap her myself. but then again i bet she can make me bend over and make me cry like a baby. hmmm... i won't pass that invitation, haha! and when the bride plucked her eye out, i stood up, cheered and clapped.

and then of course, the end when bea met bill. i enjoyed bill's superman story. every other hero, they are somebody playing the hero's role. batman is really bruce wayne. but superman IS superman. clark kent is his disguise. and beatrix kiddo, will never be just a used records sales girl, she'll always be a killer.

"you and i have unfinished business."

"baby, you ain't kidding."

then ten seconds later, bill is about to die. after watching more than five hours of the bride going through the crazy 88s, gogo yubari, o-ren ishii, vernita green, budd, and elle, it came down to a less than ten second coup de grace. it was fucking worth it. and what makes me hit rewind all the time is the fact that the bride really loved bill. she killed and killed to kill bill because she loved him. maybe it's just me but i really think that kiddo loved bill. and the way she touched him in the end and told him he looked ready, it was breath-taking.
Monday, November 15, 2004
  november birthdays and fahrenheit 451
got out of my accounting class pretty early, so i went straight to the bookstore to look for a card for dad. he's turning 49 this weekend, i have work then, so i can't really spend time with him. also have to get a card for iya, who's turning 5 by the end of the month.

sidebar: check this out, my dad, his bro unc marty, my bro iya, cousin jen (unc marty's daughter) and dad's dad, granpa were all born in november. nine months ago was valentines month. figure that out.

since i was in the bookstore, took the pleasure of checking out books. was glad to see an ms frontpage program at student price of a hundred bucks (down from $400!). that would be my target next payday. went straight to the classics after a quick breeze through computer programs. that was my target for this year anyway - to read classics - but was abruptly distracted by dan brown's angels & demons, the da vinci code, deception point and digital fortress, and david hewson's a season for the dead (which is still in transit from amazon together with my the dreamers dvd). was soooo happy to find ray bradbury's fahrenheit 451! anyone familiar with the 50-year-old novel?

well, it's about censorship and defiance to such. the main character if i'm not mistaken is a fireman who burns books, and the house where them books were found. it was originally titled the fire man which was later on changed to a more interesting title, don't you think so?

so what's special with the title? it's the temperature where paper starts to burn.
Got this from Abbie's blog. I miss high school! Everything seems to be so simple back then. Sigh...

1. Bakit ka nahuhuli sa pila bago mag-flag ceremony?
I was never late for flag ceremonies nor assemblies.

2. Anong favorite mong bilhin sa canteen?
I can't remember, honestly. I remember hurrying to the canteen though since the line picked up real fast, and the canteen can be so packed that the whole place is just a solid mass of uniformed kids.

3. Na-guidance/principal's office ka na ba?
Nope. Good boy e.

4. Sinong favorite teacher/s mo doon?
Has to be Miss Vinas now Mrs. Calleja! Many hated her guts then, probably til now, but she was the one teacher that I thought shaped me as what I am right now.

5. Sinong HATEST teacher mo naman?
Hmmm... hard to say. I never really hated anyone.

6. San ka usually tumatambay? Why?
Nung Senior year, so corridors lang. Had a bad habit of picking on younger students. I remember, we used to call this girl Panget. My bud Jeree and I would just stay by the corridors waiting for the Sophomores to pass by, then Jeree would blurt out, "Oy, Kenneth, ayan na si Panget o." We were mean. Then in college, when I transferred to De La Salle Lipa, the welcoming greeting I got from Jeree was, "Hoy! Nakita ko si Panget kanina, ditto yata mag-e-enroll!"

7. What's your most unforgettable experience sa highschool mo?
Always the cheering competition. It's an event, it THE event.

8. Varsity?
Nope. Puh-leese.

9. Sinong una mong nakilala sa high school mo?
Most of my high school friends actually are my grade school buds, too, but the first person I met not from Canossa who transferred to our high school is... hmmm. I have no idea. I can't remember. Arg, I'm getting old.

10. Sino unang mga barkada mo?Best bud Jeree, of course. We are talking history, baby! I think we were five when we first met, so you can say a big chunk of my life, she was somewhere in the background.

11. Sinong mga kabarkada mo nung nag-graduate ka from HS?
CAT officers mainly, then my classmates, mga Vero.

12. Sino mga barkada mo from highschool hanggang ngayon?
Jeree, solid kami e, haha! I remember nung binisita ko sya sa work, and her tita happens to be her boss. Tita Mabel was like, "Kayo ga e naging kayo?", "Ano ka ba, Kenneth, sulutin mo na si Alner.", tsaka, "It's nice that you are friends up to now... Teka, baka naman may pag-asa pa na maging kayo". In some demented way, Jeree and I will always be buds, but we are sane enough to know there are lines not to be crossed.
Sino pa ba? Hmmm... It's hard to say since I'm here in the US now, and barkada to me means seeing each other regularly. So let's skip that first.

13. Na-mimiss mo na ba yung uniform mo?
Not really.

14. Favorite teacher's quotable quote?
Wher do I begin?! Haha! Let's see... There's "So we have there." "Hide your maps." "Gels and boys." "Part and parcel." "Almost always." There's a lot more, I tell you.

15. Most unforgettable person? Why?
Closest buds, mainly because they helped me shape who I am right now.

16. I-describe ang mukha mo sa grad pic.
I looked like an ass.

17. Anong binibili mo sa labas tuwing uwian?
Fishballs! Iskrambol. Hmmm... Banana ice. Ano pa ba?

18. Sino huling nakita mo sa batch?
Si Sophia at si Dads. We went out the last night I was in the PI. We went to TGIF and had dinner across Rio Locsin, haha! I had to lie to everybody in my family that night! They were texting me to go home, where I was and all that. I said ma-traffic on the way home when really we were not even half way done with dinner.

19. Anong contests ang sinalihan/napanalunan mo?

22. Kamusta naman ang Intrams?
Intrams is always fun. Every year yata e talo kami, hahaha! Except nung Senior year, we rose to the top, hehe...

23. Sino mga sikat sa batch nyo?
Ako, hahaha!

24. Sino mga magaganda at gwapo sa batch?
Ako pa rin!

24. Nasa friendster mo ba yung crush mo sa HS?
Wala e. Di uso sa kanya ang friendster.

26. Did you ever regret going to ur HS?

Not at all! I love that freaking school.

27. Sino sa mga ka-batch natin ang dapat napasali sa Star Circle Quest?
I'm not even sure what Star Circle Quest is.

28. San ka na nag-aaral ng college? Course?
Nag-UPDiliman muna, then De La Salle Lipa at sa awa ng diyos, nasa college pa rin ako, Colorado State University here in Pueblo.
Was an Accounting student all the way. May sa malas nga yata ang course na to saken kase di ako matapos-tapos.

30. Sino ang peborit labs team of dem all mo?
Sa batch naming, I can't remember if there was a love team I liked. But I remember a couple na three years ahead samen, they were an item na since their freshmen years, then all the way to college. Sila pa rin hanggang ngayon.

31. Anu-ano ang mga section mo?
Highschool? St. Vincent Ferrer, St. Agatha, St. John the Baptist, then St. Veronica.

32. Sino ang crush mo sa upper batch?
Hahaha! Madami, mahilig ako sa matanda saken e, haha!

33. Sino ang crush sa lower batch?
Wala akong kilala sa lower batch e.

34. Orgs mo nung highschool?
The Gazette, Fine Arts.

35. Sino pinaka-na-mi-miss mo ngayon?
Everybody, I guess.
Sunday, November 14, 2004
  it's starting to get cold
Saturday, November 13, 2004
  and when i'm feeling sexy, who's gonna comfort me?
I get confused when I'm tired
But the last time I saw you
We were in a room
With sunshine in my eyes
And water on the floor
I watched you float away
Take me with you

A long time ago
We were walking around
We were fooling around
In the garden
In the garden
I saw you turn around
And still you turn around
My eyes are playing tricks on me
How I miss you

I could be your lover
Chained under the water
Under the water
I could be standing on a ladder
To make it easier
To make it easier

Your eyes are colored stone
You've got an earring through your nose
Your chains are made of gold
I dont think they would float
But floating is what you do
That is beautiful
That is you

I could be your lover
Chained under the water
Under the water
I could be swimming out to save you
No one ever saves you
To make it easier

I'll be your lover
Under the water
I could be standing
To make it easier

I could be your lover
Chained under the water
Under the water
I could be standing on a ladder
To make it easier
To make it easier

--- Merrill Bainbridge, Under the Water
  top of the world
was gonna do some tax problems at work last night, and i was pretty sure there was nothing good on tv on a friday, so i needed something to listen to after doing all my reports and while doing homework. decided to buy a dixie chicks cd.

was going to get home but then i saw the top of the world tour, dixie chicks, live, 2 cds, live performances of the best songs over the years, for the same price.

only set back is they don't have you were mine in the cd, which is okay since it wasn't in the home album anyway.

t'was a fun concert! they started with goodbye earl and the first image in my head is dennis franz dead in a swamp! another fun song is long time gone, now that song IS country. and i loooove travelin' soldier, it's kinda a tear jerker. it's about this young guy, barely 18 who had to go to 'nam. he met this girl in a diner, he asked if he could write letters to her since he's got no one to write to. the young girl said ok, and she "cried / Never gonna hold the hand of another guy / Too young for him they told her / Waitin' for the love of a travelin' soldier" but she was all happy since she there was some sort of an announcement about a soldier coming home. later on, in a baseball game, the announcer asked everybody to bow their heads for the death of a young soldier, and people really didn't care "but a pretty little girl with bow in her hair." lungkot no?

another feel good song in the cd is cowboy take me away and wide open spaces. and of course, the cover of a fleetwood mac song, written by stevie nicks, landslide. last song i loved is top of the world:

I wished I was smarter
I wished I was stronger
I wished I loved Jesus
The way my wife does
I wish it had been easier
Instead of any longer
I wished I could have stood where you would have been proud
But that won't happen now
That won't happen now

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now
Top of the world

I don't have to answer any of these questions
Don't have no God to teach me no lessons
I come home in the eveing
Sit in my chair
One night they called me for supper
But I never got up
I stayed right there in my chair

There's a whole lot of singing that's never gonna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Think I broke the wings off that little song bird
She's never gonna fly to the top of the world right now
Top of the world

I wished I'd a known you
Wished I'd a shown you
All of the things I was on the inside
I'd pretend to be sleeping
When you come in in the morning
To whisper good-bye
Go to work in the rain
I don't know why
Don't know why

'Cause everone's singing
We just wanna be heard
Disappearing everyday without so much as a word somehow
Wanna grab a hold of that little song bird
Take her for a ride to the top of the world right now

To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world
To the top of the world

it's supposed to be sung by an old man who is passing away, singing about how he could have done things differently. i love the video, it spanned all three generations involved with one guy. i think it was emily that started it first, she played the old man's mother. then marty was the wife, then lastly, natalie as the daughter.

ah, yes, natalie. i just feel for her. remember the natalie scandal she did? i take my hat off. maybe because we have so much in common: piscean, only ten inches high, loud mouth, cute. haha!

grabe, ganda resolution ng scanner ko...
  two girls
"don't hate me 'cause i'm beautiful."

"i pity you because you're stupid."
Friday, November 12, 2004
  ken being an ass
i mentioned amy before in a previous entry and i wanna take it back. she's not as dense as i thought. she's okay. i realized that when this morning, i saw her in the math building, tutoring a classmate. as much as i hate assumption (except accounting assumptions, of course), i find her, er - can't find a better word - compassionate. maybe friendly. i dunno. i mean, she's helping out classmate with her math problems! ain't that sweet? i wish i don't know much in accounting, maybe she can help me out, haha! or maybe i can help her out, IF JAVAN TAKES HIS PAWS OFF HER! i don't like javan, obviously. puta, ang papel. even with the profs. buti sana if he's doing great in his classes, not much naman e. but anna, a friend, told me that javan is kinda pathetic. she saw him "begging" for amy's attention re: gmat stuff. dang it, i wish i was there to watch him go gaga over amy. it would have satisfied my recommended daily allowance of having fun watching other people suffer.

ain't she pretty?

  eye for an eye
"you keep dodging the question."

"i don't mean to. it's just... you know how i feel, right? and you were the one who didn't want to keep seeing each other."

"and here's where we hop on the merry-go-round of rotating knives. i blame you and you blame me, and we both end up all cut to shreds. please just tell... do you still love me?"

"yes. i still love you. i always will. i just don't know if that means anything for us anymore."

"well, i love you too. i don't know if that means anything either."

"well, it's nice to hear. i'm not gonna find anyone out there like you, am i?"

"doesn't seem likely."

"i guess i'm more replaceable, obviously."
Thursday, November 11, 2004
  maroon5 plus rob thomas + shoutbox is dead + a few more days til the end
whoa, just saw a live performance of maroon5 singing "harder to breathe" with, get this, matchbox twenty's rob thomas. astig. kinda blew me away watching the live singing. it's available in aol music, go check it out.


my shout box is acting up. well, was chatting with tina b this morning and she mentioned something about her shout box. checked mine, and lo and behold, my mine is screwed up as well. checked with the site, saw some messages left there. so, toni, arthur, and whoever left any messages there, i saw your messages :-)


fourteen more school days, i'm done. can't wait. i am so fucking tired. if imma a-lyin', imma dyin'.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
  white lily and naked body

the story behind the pics later. i'm late for class! well, almost.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
  hollywood romance
"it's not about the kiss. it's about the journey. everything has to be planned. the setting, the music..."

"that's not reality, that does not exist outside the city limits of hollywood."

"not true. movie romance is grounded on reality's imagination."
Monday, November 08, 2004
i don't know how, i don't know when,
i don't even know why.
but words spoken will be words heard
even between miles and miles of seas
but still under the same sky,
hear that i wish
you have a happy day
on this blessed day.

  bald women are hot

first glance and you are almost required to ask what's going on with this picture. you are almost compelled to want to know what is the story behind this picture of a blindfolded naked bald woman standing with her back at a bottle. well, that's how my work ended up looking like. others have the bald lady facing them, next to a cup. still, others have her behind a big leaf. putting our pictures next to each others' work, you will find it interesting how we all chose how the lady should be facing at and the items surrounding her.

what's the meaning of this work? nothing really. we just draw what we see.

  i agree

Sunday, November 07, 2004
  weekend escapades
went to a poetry reading last friday. haven't been to one for quite some time. the hungry eye sponsored one since it just came out with a new magazine. i went just because. wasn't expecting a big turn out. i mean big as in big. filled up the tiny daily grind coffee house.

met up with friends i have seen for a loooong time - i blame my accounting teachers. i got there pretty early, so i took the role of saving seats for people. lydia was there, keli, and david. amanda showed up but was kinda late, plus she was with her bf so they kinda sat somewhere else. lynn came and read her works, she sat with her classmates though. met nicole, an english major freshie. er, everyone was an english major over there. met new peeps, too. that's the thing with poetry readings, people just come to your table and talk. met another business major student there, woo-hoo! i ain't alone. his name is david and he's from du. not du as in duh, but denver university. i had to do a little sales talk, he was asking if the business school is any good here. of course it is. he was with kelsey, another freaking english major, and another freshie.

lydia was on a sugar high! by golly, we were laughing all night. we had this long conversation about yerba mate. i said i like it drinking straight from a gourd with one of them fancy strainer metal straws, but she like hers in a cup, like tea. keli jumped in saying mate is "grass-y". then nicole thought her vegetable soup is a little "vegetable-y" for her, she said it has too many potatoes. lydia thinks a vegetable soup's being "vegetable-y" is wrong if it is "potatoe-y" since potatoes are not vegetables - they are tubers. nicole persisted that the whole vegetable soup industry should be sued for misleading claims.

to be in the same room with linguistics pickier than me is fun.
Thursday, November 04, 2004
  best friends
"yes, you are right, this is a business between us. now tell me, we haven't been best friends even before you started this little competition -"

"i started this competition?! i didn't even know this is a competition!"

"yeah, right, of course you didn't know. the ultimate defense."

"no, you know you're right. and that's always been how you wanted it, when you are right, when you are on top, when i am screwed. well, i'm sorry."

"so am i."

and she stood there, between the only the two men she truly loved.
AMPLE make this bed.
Make this bed with awe;
In it wait till judgment break
Excellent and fair.

Be its mattress straight,
Be its pillow round;
Let no sunrise' yellow noise
Interrupt this ground.
Wednesday, November 03, 2004
  art class... again
i'm getting better and better in this class. i know this class is not about "expressing yourself" or "making meaning between the lines", it is very technical, but i still look forward grabbing a piece of charcoal every now and then over the internal revenue code. it is still a touch of unconvention for me even if everything is still under strict control.

damn, i'm sicker than i thought i am...

  hands down - dashboard confessional
breathe in for luck,
breathe in so deep.
this air is blessed
you share with me.
this night is wild,
so calm and dull.
these hearts they race
from self control.
your legs are smooth
as they graze mine.
we're doing fine,
we're doing nothing at all.

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
so won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
my heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery.
which ever you prefer.

the words are hushed lets not get busted,
just lay entwined here,
Safe in here from all the stupid questions.
"hey did you get some?"
man, that is so dumb.
stay quiet,
stay near,
stay close they can't hear,
so we can get some.

my hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me.
so won't you kill me,
so I die happy.
my heart is yours to fill or burst,
to break or bury,
or wear as jewelery.
which ever you prefer.

hands down this is the best day I can ever remember,
always remember the sound of the stereo,
the dim of the soft lights,
the scent of your hair
that you twirled in your fingers
and the time on the clock when we realized it's so late
and this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet
and the gate was locked
so I jumped it
and let you in
and you stood at your door with your hands on my waist
and you kissed me like you meant it
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
that you meant it,
and I knew,
that you meant it,
that you meant it.
Monday, November 01, 2004
ganda no? haha! did a checkered fabric drawing, ang hirap pala. wasn't able to finish. plus, we used goddam butcher paper, so color brown. buwiset.

my personal, emotional, intellectual, political, sexual, social, spiritual, scholarly, and childish rantings about anything conceivable by the human mind and felt by the human heart and soul.

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