i haven't said enough...
Sunday, October 31, 2004
  halloween!
had the kids in my place for a while, and the freaks are in costume:


saul as some power ranger dude



angel, not as a princess. she's a queen.



iya as spidey



marty also as spider-man, er, spider-boy



me as a dumbass. maybe a bum.

 
  two more days
excited na kong bumoto!


 
Friday, October 29, 2004
  for you to notice - dashboard confessional
I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...

But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you need me, for you to notice me

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...

I'm starting to fashion an idea in my head
where I would impress you
with every single word I said.
Would come out insightful, or brave, or smooth, or charming
and you'd want to call me..
And I would be there every time
you'd need me
I'd be there every time...

But for now I'll look so longingly
waiting...
For you to want me, for you need me, for you to notice me
 
  david hewson
i "met" this guy while reading an article in the washington post. he made this novel about a serial killer whose pattern of killing is after those of martyrs of the catholic church. now ain't that a great premise?
i checked his site and i was wowed. he is a great writer! his style reminded me right away of that of dan brown's and guess what, he pre-dated brown! brown is cashing in using hewson's ideas. hmp! typical. this is the reason why i was never into reading commercially successful authors. i prefer the classics.
but anyway, back to hewson, he wrote several books that caught my fancy. lucifer's shadow, a season of the dead, and the villa of mysteries are now in my wish list. i bet i can buy them online, say like amazon, and get them cheaper if i buy in bundles. maybe even free shipping.
also check out hewson's blog. me adding him in my links.
 
  hannibal the cannibal is back!
oh my freaking god, hannibal lecter is back! am listening to the radio right now, and they have this news bit about thomas harris writing a fourth novel to the hannibal series! it's presently under the title behind the mask.

wait, lemme do a search, there has got to be something out there about this...

hmmm... there's not much out there. no mention of it in the author's site. there is a hint of clue in a washinton post article though (i like the line in the article about cheering on lecter when he sauteed the fbi agent's brain and fed it to him, haha!). an article in the nytimes site suggests the same - having hannibal so open-ended that it screams a fourth installment. there's a picture of harris there. he looks like santa claus. creepy.
 
Thursday, October 28, 2004
  i'm feeling grrreat!
jLo won't stop singing "feelin' so good" in my head. which is okay. i just turned in my tax return project and my last tax issue reaction paper. it is a goddam relief. sarap ng feeling, pare, sooobra.
added to this is the ever growing population of the worship of kiko in accounting, haha! seriously, i used to say i'm two steps away from being a god, i think i just made another step.
since just this wednesday, i've been making marks and slowly burning my name in the brains of my fellow accounting majors. last tuesday, i did my presentation in cost accounting. people did dare to question my findings, i made them look dumb. sorry, amy, you are pretty, but dear, don't ask such questions. then i had intermediate yesterday, and i stole the spotlight again from my prof. she was even astounded with my easier was of computing understatements and overstatements of net income due to variances in beginning and ending inventory. ha! and just a few minutes ago, i did the same thing in cost. the teacher said it took him half an hour to finish this standard costing problem. i did mine in five - in class! it was supposed to be a take-home quiz, but i was too pre-occupied with my tax return project that i forgot about it, so i had to do it in class. even had to borrow a book since i didn't bring mine.
this is turning to be a great day. i hope it stays that way for the rest of the week! i can't wait for the weekend, i'm gonna see the kids again. i'm helping out saul with his research about venus, i think. maybe i'll take him to watch sharktale. maybe. if angel behaves.
 
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
  i miss blogging, spreading to thin, bullshit and a pretty blonde
i still can't find time to blog. i just realized how thin i am spreading myself after talking to anna and russell (my groupies for this cost accounting shit going on). i have four upper division accounting classes, one art class, tutoring three students, a work study at the nursing department and of course, the night audit job at the motel.

i'm glad that the cost project thing is done in the mean time. had to take my notebook several times to school and do work in class (ate in was asking earlier why we had electrical sockets on our desks. that's why.). that is why i am offline most of the times lately. i used to just leave my place with my notebook hooked up on the net. anyway, the presentation went well. we had the shortest presentation. our strategy was to be concise, do not give out financial information, to wow them visually and to dazzle them with bull shit. i think we achieved all four. of all people who would dare ask me a question, amy did. she has got to be the prettiest accounting major student that i know of (my friend laura doesn't really count anymore, since she is out of the business school already). but by golly, she's dense. sayang. or maybe that was just an act, just to check if i know my financial ratios and ways to interpret them. i dunno. i'll try to grab a pic of her one of these days :-)

gotta go now, still have a cpa law test, 6 to 9 tonight. great.
 
Thursday, October 21, 2004
  cold hard bitch - jet
Gotta leave town
Got another appointment
Spent all my rent
Girl you know I enjoyed it

Ain't gonna hang around till there's nobody dancing
I don't wanna hold hands and talk about our little plans, alright!

Cold hard bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting, give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
That's all that I need

Gonna check her out
She's my latest attraction
Gonna hang around
Wanna get a reaction

Gonna take her home cause she's over romancing
Don't wanna hold hands and talk about her plans alright!

Cold hard bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
And I that was all that I need
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees

Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah I'm waiting
Yeah I'm waiting

Cold hard bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
She was shakin' her hips
And I was all that I need
I'm waiting give me
Cold hard bitch
Just a kiss on the lips
And I was on my knees
I'm waiting give me
 
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
  love takes time
ay didikit dis zong por ate in. ate, fara zayo to!

I had it all
But I let it slip away
Couldn't see that I treated you wrong
Now I wander around
Feeling down and cold
Trying to believe that you're gone

Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna de here alone

Losing my mind
From this hollow in my heart
Suddenly I'm so incomplete
Lord I'm needing you now
Tell me how to stop the rain
Tears are falling down endlessly

Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be here
I don't wanna de here alone

You might say that it's over
You might say that you don't care
You might say you don't miss me
You don't need me
But I know that you do and I feel that you do
Inside

Love takes time
To heal when you're hurting so much
Couldn't see that I was so blind
To let you go
I can't escape the pain
Inside
'Cause love takes time
I don't wanna be there
I don't wanna be there alone
 
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
  i feel super
i feel great today. it feels... weird. i dunno, maybe mainly because i haven't felt this level of elation for quite some time now, contrary to my imood on my right panel.

let's trace the string of events that led to today's happiness.

hmmm... saturday, i got me a printer and a webcam. then slept all day since i had to work all night. then sunday, spent the morning sleeping, got up before lunch since i promised dad to help him out with moving the kids' beds from the storage to his new place. after three hours of back-breaking carrying, played with the kids for a while. and when i say "played with the kids", i meant "the kids played with me" like i'm a human toy. hmmm... sunday night seems to be a blur to me. i rememeber missing charmed, fell asleep on the couch. hmp, probably went straight to bed after dad dropped me off. monday was a looong day. i was even bored in art class. i got my portfolio back though, with all my large sketches and my sketchbook. got an A for my midterm grade. accounting was slow that day as well. talked about cash flow assumptions regarding inventory. doesn't ring a bell? how about LIFO, FIFO, and average? haha! monday night, fell asleep on the couch again, woke up around 4am, did my fedtax take-home exam (it was that hard, we had to take it home to work on it!) then went to school 'round 9:30. did some tutoring. that could have started my day, my tutee (tee-hee... just have to giggle everytime i hear the word) said i do a better job of teaching than trippeer. had the in-class part of the fedtax exam, then had cost accounting with trippeer. then here i am, telling y'all this.

see... i don't understand why i feel so darn happy today.
 
  milkshake
i saw this clip in ifilm and i was horrified!

check this clip of milkshake. NOT for the weak-hearted.
 
Saturday, October 16, 2004
  techno-splurge
i splurge almost two hundred moo-lahs today on my notebook. well, not really just ON my notebook - me got a pretty cool printer and a nice webcam.

ate in and i went to circuit city when she visited and asked her opinion about trying to buy a printer. we found one for almost a hundred bucks which can do scanning and copying jobs. we also found one with fax-features but i don't even have a phoneline at home so that's down the drain. so i just got my hp psc 1315 this afternoon after watching kill bill vol.2 (a dvd i just bought yesterday!).




then, i got my eye on this webcam for notebooks. it was so cool-looking that i thought, "what the hell, so i'm not having dinner for the next five days!" and got the freaking webcam. it is so compact and built mainly for notebooks so i just have to get it. cute naman e, it's by creative which is my second choice after logitech. anyway, here's what got:



ka-ching! ka-ching!
 
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
  tainted love
Sometimes I feel I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
From the pain that you drive into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
And I've lost my light
For I toss and turn I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh... tainted love
Tainted love

Now I know I've got to
Run away I've got to
Get away
You don't really want it any more from me
To make things right
You need someone to hold you tight
And you'll think love is to pray
But I'm sorry I don't pray that way

Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This tainted love you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...tainted love
Tainted love

Don't touch me please
I cannot stand the way you tease
I love you though you hurt me so
Now I'm going to pack my things and go
Tainted love, tainted love
Tainted love, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Touch me baby, tainted love
Tainted love...
 
Friday, October 08, 2004
  my place under surveillance
i always YM with leo in the morning. it is always fo course cut short because of classes. but every now and then, i leave the webcam on for him to watch over my place:



but this one particular morning, leo mentioned someone was in my place! he thought i went back home because i left something important for class (which almost always happens). then he saw this"



hahaha!
 
  XXXIII
I HELD a jewel in my fingers
And went to sleep.
The day was warm, and winds were prosy;
I said: "'T will keep."

I woke and chid my honest fingers,---
The gem was gone;
And now an amethyst remembrance
Is all I own.

emily.dickinson
 
  poetic orgasms
she abruptly stopped in front of me
as i sipped my coffee, dark.

she smiled and lowered her eyelids -
bit her lower lip and giggled.

she slowly raised her eyes
and looked straight at me.

she slipped back her obvious bra strap,
black like my coffee.

she gave her skirt a strong tug
to cover her knees.

she moved a bit closer
and slightly leaned towards me...

then she showed her white teeth
and with her fingernail, picked off stuck meat.

she walked back and turned around,
swayed her hips as she walked away.

behind the coffee shop's windows,
i was used as a mirror.
 
  doo-dahs
where do i begin?

------------------------------

last night, i attended this dinner meeting. see, way back in high school and my college days in de la salle lipa, i was never the "ordinary" student. i was always in this club or in that org or in this committee. seriously, my acads were not that high in my priorities. i was more concerned with meeting deadlines for my articles or making copies of the agenda of meetings. i was telling my bud tocuets that there are days, i just wanna know how it feels like to be just a student. the typical wake-up-late-go-to-class-or-maybe-not-party-all-night-go-home kind of student. i never experienced that til i got here in pueblo.

for the past year, i was just a student. i didn't like it.

and now, here i am. attending the associated student government of my great university. having dinner and rubbing elbows with deans and the administration and org presidents, discussing budgets and scholarships.

sigh...

------------------------------

i can't wait for tonight! ate in would be in my night window in the motel :-) imagine that... wow, it's been so many freaking years, man! i promise to post pictures. here are possible captions:

here's me and ate in having dinner.

here's ate in peeing while standing up near the state highway after way too many drinks.

here's ate in, lowering her standards of morality.

------------------------------

leo just changed his blog layout! astig, pare! now we need to make rey change his template as well. something like google.
 
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
  hostile grounds: consider yourself warned
got here in school around 7:30. on wednesdays, i tutor this guy at 8 til a little before 9 so i won't be late for my art class. anyway, he called just now to let me know he either will be late or will not make it all. his car won't start. arg.

it's okay, really, but i came here with the sun still barely getting up from the freaking horizon (fall coming real quick, still trying to adjust to the incoming time change) and it is freaking cold. stupid me, i'm wearing shorts today. anyway, took pictures of pueblo from the highest point in school near the physics/math building to show how thick the fog was (why is it called a 'building'? shouldn't it be called a 'built'?). i can't upload it now since the computers here in school don't have a slot for a memory stick and i don't have a usb cable with me right now.

you wanna know how cold it is right now? it is so cold that when i stop walking, i could feel the cold air sensation running up my bare legs and i swear my balls were up my ass just to keep themselves warm.

on a lighter note, it's a wednesday, two more days and ate i.n will be here :-) imagine, the last time i saw her was sometime june, june 2nd i think, in 2002. i remember coming home from lemery's beaches that day. her boyfriend poli was with us then. i think vicky, kiel, bj, dj, leo, ang hane, vannie and divineski were there as well. i could be wrong though, i can't remember it that well since i was drunk then plus that was a period when we were almost in the beaches every other week. hmm... am i turning senile? puta naman o...

so there, i saw my homies in the philippines first (last august) before seeing ate again! now imagine that, considering we talk almost every night. i'm gonna make kulit to ate (tunog cono no? do you guys know that cono means vagina in spanish? imagine me trying to explain what a cono is to my spanish-speaking grandmother) to go to california to meet up with rey. maybe over the summer. but i want it to happen this december though. we'll see.
 
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
  my boo - usher and alicia keys
There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock


Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby

It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo

It's like remember boy
Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy
The moment I knew
You were the one
I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby


It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man in my life
You will always be my boo


My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

It started when we were young girl
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
 
Monday, October 04, 2004
  striped log
i hate fabric drawing but that's what we did in class today. hirap nun no! especially if the cloth is striped which is the case in our class, of course. we did a fabric drawing of a striped piece of cloth laying flat on the platform first. it sounds easy but it's not, seriously. anyway, after that, the prof had this great idea of putting the cloth on top of one of our model figures.



i really struggled with that open end of the cylinder! mainly because of that foam stucked inside of the tube. hmp!



well, i thought i did okay. t'was hard though. (should have taken a picture of the model in the same angle of my work. oh, well.)


 
  the tattoo process












looks painful huh? goddam yes.
 
Sunday, October 03, 2004
  try - nelly furtado
All I know
Is everything is not as it's sold
but the more I grow the less I know
And I have lived so many lives
Though I'm not old
And the more I see, the less I grow
The fewer the seeds the more I sow

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try

I wish I hadn't seen all of the realness
And all the real people are really not real at all
The more I learn, the more I learn
The more I cry, the more I cry
As I say goodbye to the way of life
I thought I had designed for me

Then I see you standing there
Wanting more from me
And all I can do is try
Then I see you standing there
I'm all I'll ever be
But all I can do is try
Try

All of the moments that already passed
We'll try to go back and make them last
All of the things we want each other to be
We never will be
And that's wonderful, and that's life
And that's you, baby
This is me, baby
And we are, we are, we are, we are
Free
In our love
We are free in our love
 
Friday, October 01, 2004
  art class results + an art studio tour
after my accounting class, went straight to the art and music bldg to finish my work last wednesday. it was just the prof and me there, talked about my work. he really think i have a knack about this art class, felt sorry that no one is teaching drawing 2 next semester. he advised that i take painting 1 just for the heck of it, and maybe take drawing 2 over the summer. i ain't complaining.

anyway, here's my work! i call it "crotch of pillows". figure it out, it ain't that hard to do so.



and here are the models:



(check out the girl in gray/light blue shirt. that's candice!)


now here's a short tour of the studio. once you enter, you'll find some body drawings taped on the wall. these pics are for the drawing 2 class, they do body figures:



then once you reach the center of the room, turn around and here's what you'll see:



haha! yep, them are body casts. and they are right above me in class! haha! like i said in the previous post, i sit next to the door (the big hall you see, that is a door! the smaller one you see goes to my prof's office). wanna take a closer look? i bet you'd like that, haha!



i syre hope you can figure out which ones are males and females :-)


 
  texas' in demand
the first of three presidential debates was on last night, pre-empting survivor, joey, and will & grace. wasn't in a political mood last night, beside, i prefer to watch the last decision-bending debate. but really, my mind is decided with kerry.

anyway, spent the night surfing the net, listening to nirvana's live performances of all apologies and come as you are. then, i remembered texas. does anyone remember them uk band? so i started looking for this one particular vid, in demand. i don't think anyone enjoyed the song as much as i did. shar looked so pretty in that dres, dancing around with, you would not believe this, alan rickman! the head of the snake dorm in harry potter (shows i'm not a big fan of the series). why don't you check the vid and let me know what you think :-)

When we were together I was blown away
Just like paper from a fan
But you would act like I was just a kid
Like we were never gonna last

Now I've got someone who cares for me
He wrote my name in silver sands
I think you know you've lost the love of your life
(and you said) I was the best you've ever had

Because I'm in demand
You're thinking of the way you shoulda held my hand
And all the times you said you didn't understand
You never had our love written in your plans
But now I'm in demand

Don't ever think you saw the best in me
There's a side you'll never know
Cos love and loving are too different things
Set your sites far too low

Now I've got someone who cares for me
He wrote my name in silver sands
I think you know you've lost the love of your life
(and you said) I was the best you've ever had

Because I'm in demand
You're thinking of the way you shoulda held my hand
And all the times you said you didn't understand
You never had our love written in your plans
But now I'm in demand

You're thinking of the way you shoulda held my hand
And all the times you said you didn't understand
You never had our love written in your plans
But now I'm in demand

It's only when I fall asleep
I see that winning smile
When my dreams just move along
You've lost the race by miles

Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
(never had our love written in your plans)
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah

Because I'm in demand
You're thinking of the way you shoulda held my hand
And all the times you said you didn't understand
You never had our love written in your plans
But now I'm in demand

You know I'm in demand
You see I'm in demand
You know I'm in demand
You know I'm in demand
You never had our love written in your plans

You know I'm in demand
You see I'm in demand
You need me in demand
You want me in demand
 
my personal, emotional, intellectual, political, sexual, social, spiritual, scholarly, and childish rantings about anything conceivable by the human mind and felt by the human heart and soul.

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